I don't like to think of myself as a routine-oriented person. Somehow I see me as more loose, ready to go with the flow.
Yet the truth is, I don't do well with transitions. Maybe that's a little harsh. It's not that I don't do well; it's just that I need a transition period to get through the transition. And for that, I rely on certain things that comfort me, a routine if you will.
I never realized this about myself until I recognized it in my son. Even as a baby he loved vacation, but he seemed so relieved when we returned home. He enjoyed school, but I learned to dread September.
Every year he'd be cranky and exhausted until he felt at ease with the new teacher, the new class of kids, and the new routine. Only then, when he once more felt like master of his universe, could he relax and do what he had to do.
In trying to help him learn to deal with transition, I saw that I had been unconsciously "handling" myself the same way for most of my life.
Routine gets such a bad rap. BORING. But everyone likes knowing what to expect. It helps us feel safe and secure. Babies are happier when they have regular mealtimes and naps, and even teenagers respond better when there are clear limits and rules that they know they need to follow.
Sometimes it's the little things. When I go away I need to bring enough books with me to read and to write in. If I can, I always take my favorite pillow.
My son knows he needs to call or text me when he's left school in Manhattan to come home for the weekend, and then again when he arrives back at school. My daughters do the same throughout their day, to let me know if they'll be late, who's driving them home, or if their plans change. It's part of our family routine, just like sitting down to dinner, or all three of them kissing me good night and good bye.
Family traditions see us through holidays and other special times. But maybe our daily routines are just smaller traditions that help us touch base as we get through the day.
I'm writing this post while lying in bed before I go to sleep. First-Born Son came in when he got home from work, like he does every night. He sat on the bed, roughed up the cat, and told me about his day. It's part of our routine.
Now I'll read a little before I turn out the light, because that's my routine. Boring? Maybe. But comforting? You bet.
Now head on over to the Never-Routine Sprite's Keeper for some more of this week's Spins.
Yet the truth is, I don't do well with transitions. Maybe that's a little harsh. It's not that I don't do well; it's just that I need a transition period to get through the transition. And for that, I rely on certain things that comfort me, a routine if you will.
I never realized this about myself until I recognized it in my son. Even as a baby he loved vacation, but he seemed so relieved when we returned home. He enjoyed school, but I learned to dread September.
Every year he'd be cranky and exhausted until he felt at ease with the new teacher, the new class of kids, and the new routine. Only then, when he once more felt like master of his universe, could he relax and do what he had to do.
In trying to help him learn to deal with transition, I saw that I had been unconsciously "handling" myself the same way for most of my life.
Routine gets such a bad rap. BORING. But everyone likes knowing what to expect. It helps us feel safe and secure. Babies are happier when they have regular mealtimes and naps, and even teenagers respond better when there are clear limits and rules that they know they need to follow.
Sometimes it's the little things. When I go away I need to bring enough books with me to read and to write in. If I can, I always take my favorite pillow.
My son knows he needs to call or text me when he's left school in Manhattan to come home for the weekend, and then again when he arrives back at school. My daughters do the same throughout their day, to let me know if they'll be late, who's driving them home, or if their plans change. It's part of our family routine, just like sitting down to dinner, or all three of them kissing me good night and good bye.
Family traditions see us through holidays and other special times. But maybe our daily routines are just smaller traditions that help us touch base as we get through the day.
I'm writing this post while lying in bed before I go to sleep. First-Born Son came in when he got home from work, like he does every night. He sat on the bed, roughed up the cat, and told me about his day. It's part of our routine.
Now I'll read a little before I turn out the light, because that's my routine. Boring? Maybe. But comforting? You bet.
Now head on over to the Never-Routine Sprite's Keeper for some more of this week's Spins.
"Family traditions see us through holidays and other special times. But maybe our daily routines are just smaller traditions that help us touch base as we get through the day."
Can I frame this please?
I love the way you put it!
It definitely puts a better Spin on routine rather than the boring rap it always gets.
Wonderful Spin!
You're linked!
Posted by: Sprite's Keeper | July 16, 2009 at 09:29 AM
You and I are very much alike in that regards - I adapt well, but the whole process of adapting leaves me tired and nervous.
This is a great spin - it makes me feel much better about my routines.
Posted by: Jan | July 16, 2009 at 10:52 AM
I LOVE routine and predictability. Drama is highly overrated and a boring, uneventful life is highly underrated.
Posted by: class factotum | July 16, 2009 at 11:30 AM
I can relate to so much of what you said here. I don't like to gt bored, but need a certain amount of routine mixed with my go with the flow.
Your son is so lucky to go to school in Manhatten!
Posted by: Pseudo | July 16, 2009 at 12:36 PM
I agree 100% percent. I thinking having the routine makes leaving it once in a while all the sweeter.
Posted by: Jenn @ Juggling Life | July 16, 2009 at 01:54 PM
I don't even like the transition of getting in and out of the car more than twice a day.
Posted by: LPC | July 16, 2009 at 03:36 PM
Stopping by from Spin Cycle.
I love how you intertwine transition with routine. I never realized that it is all a part of the transition...getting used to the routine of something new. I always tend to focus on the process and not the transition.
Great Spin.
Posted by: Christopher (AKA: CaJoh) | July 17, 2009 at 09:40 AM
Ohhh, doesn't everyone hate transition? As nice as it is to have a new job, I love it when everyone finally knows my name, and I know how to navigate the office.
And routine does get a bad rap. I like to think of it like dancing (see my spin this week). Without routine, it's hard to know how we're supposed to fit into the family puzzle!
And I love that all your kids still want to be part of your day. Have a good weekend.
Posted by: Mama Badger | July 17, 2009 at 11:49 AM
interesting thoughts - I like the idea of the kids sharing the day.
It takes all kinds of people to make a society and many seek the thrill of unknown and change, but one attitude or approach is not best for all.
I find my reaction to transition has changed as I age. I like it less. That's probably common.
Posted by: lisleman | July 17, 2009 at 12:18 PM
I love the line that Jen referenced-routines=small traditions. YES. Love, too, that your eldest comes in to talk with you at the end of the day. Made me remember doing the same with my mother, and makes me hope that my kids will do the same.
Posted by: Shangrila | July 17, 2009 at 07:37 PM