"Surprise!"

"I have a surprise for you," Daughter #1 says to me on the phone a couple of weeks ago.

Words to chill a mother's soul.

"You dyed your hair." I take a guess.

"Why would I do a stupid thing  like that?" she snaps. "Besides, no hints. It's a surprise."

I can handle that. I like surprises.

Except I know this isn't that kind of surprise. I can hear one of her roommates, one of The Margarets, laughing evilly in the background.

"You have to wait till I see you," D#1 tells me.

I'm driving down to Manhattan with a friend to see First-Born Son's apartment, which he shares with the Mole-Person, the boy who holed up in my basement for a week this summer. D#1 is taking a train from college to meet us.

You might think that's sweet, that she misses her mother and can't wait to see me. Or, you might be a more regular reader of this blog and realize that's highly unlikely. And you would be right.

D#1 loves NYC. Broadway. Shopping. She's no doubt hoping to see a show and have me pay for it, along with cool clothes and free meals.

My friend and I arrive in Manhattan first. We're sipping wine in the hotel lounge when D#1 shows up. She's smiling and she looks happy. She actually allows me to embrace her for more than a millisecond and I am ridiculously grateful.

Then she says it. "Do you want to see the surprise?"

I nod, but she's already pulling up the leg of her jeans.

Daughter #1 got a tattoo!

Daughter #1 got a tattoo?

You have to realize, this is Miss Straight-A-Student. Miss I-Never-Get-In-Trouble-and-I-Scorn-Those-Who-Do. I have often thought I should buy her a six-pack or at least a fake ID (no, not really, but the girl could use a little trouble if you know what I mean).

The tattoo is on her inner ankle, a purple outline of the Vineyard surrounding a heart and a treble clef.

"Well," she says, "what do you think?"

My friend is watching me closely.

"I love it," I exclaim. "I think it's great."

And I do.

But then I panic. Maybe I should've said I hated it. Maybe now she'll be forced to get a "tramp-stamp." Or "sleeves." (See how up I am on the tattoo lingo?)

But she looks happy so I decide to enjoy the moment.

Now tell me, because I really don't want to be alone right now, what sort of "surprises" have your kids given you? Or, if you don't have kids, what "surprises" did you give your own parents?

Comments

[Ocean Girl]

I had never surprise my parents and I'm praying for no surprises from my children. Now maybe you could pass me that fake ID.

[Joanie M]

No tattoos on my kid. Younger daughter has 15 piercings instead (3x on each earlobe, 2 cartilage, an "industrial" (a bar through her other cartilage), belly button, nose, lip 2x (snake bites), tongue and her tregus (that little part of the ear just in front of the ear canal).

I'm afraid she's going to look like one of those freaky people we keep getting emailed pics.

[Jan]

When I was a teenager (and resident of Pangaea), tattoos were for trailer trash and convicts. And my brother, who spent a brief time as a tattoo artist and has several, but he's 7 years younger than me, so I guess that's neither here nor there. Let's just say I never surprised my mother in that manner.

They have since become cool and commonplace, of course. My daughter got one shortly after her 18th birthday; she has a very small panda on her hip (Panda is her nickname); I was not in the least bit surprised.

What DID surprise us was my oldest step-daughter getting one, since she expressed great disdain for Darling Daughter's tat (but then again, she's been expressing great disdain for Darling Daughter in general for most of the last 10 years - sibling rivalry? Noooooo, not in our house). Anyhoo, she called us and said she got a rose and hibiscus tattooed on *her* hip; I thought, oh - a small one like Darling Daughters.

Uh, NO. It covers her ENTIRE hip and goes down her upper thigh. It's a lovely work of art, but you could have knocked me over with a feather when she showed it to me.

[class factotum]

Jan, I am with you on the convict/TT thing. But -- at least your SD had to show it to you. If you are going to have one, have it in a place usually covered by clothes.

My sister and my friend Leigh have both spent a lot of money getting their visible tattoos (shoulder, ankle) removed. Tattoos they were sure they wanted at the time.

[Gloria Carrington-Ferrira]

My son Trojan surprised me too with not one or even two tattoos but three! I asked him why he would want to deface his body like that. About a year later, I totally floored him when, wait for it . . I had my own tattoo done. The boy was speechless!!

I have often thought I should buy her a six-pack or at least a fake ID (no, not really, but the girl could use a little trouble if you know what I mean. PURE GENIUS!!!

Have a great weekend!

[Jane]

I'm in awe of your reaction. I don't think I could have pulled it off - but then, I'm not fond of tatoos. My daughter (at age 16) let a friend pierce her ear cartilage something I told her she had to wait until age 18 to do. I wish she would have told me how important it was to her - maybe we would have avoided having another inexperienced teen to it for her. Luckily, there have been no complications but really, I think cartilage piercings should be left to the professionals.

[LPC]

I'm guessing I will get one before my daughter does. But then, as you say, surprises are always in store with grown children.

[Jill]

I'm so boring...I have no kids. My hounds give me no trouble. And, surprisingly, I was actually a good kid. No sneaking out of the house, no tattoos...oh yea! I forgot!! When I married my brother-in-law, that surprised the hell out of everyone!

[Anne Gibert]

Well, blow me down, I never thought anyone else had done it. I was reading along on your comments and came to the one above this (Jill who married her brother-in-law): I guess that was the biggest surprise I presented to my children. I married their uncle. I must admit that my next marriage was also a surprise to them. At the age of 74 I eloped to Alaska with a man I had met via the internet 6 weeks before. No regrets yet, and I'm now 77.

[class factotum]

Maureen, I am impressed at how you handled it. It can't be undone (easily) so why fuss?

[Nancy]

I hope my dad never has to identify my body in a morgue, he wouldn't get it right.

"Nope. That's not her, that body has tattoos, my daughter doesn't."

That's because I never told my parents. I haev two. Both very small and covered by clothes, so no one knows. Except me. And anyone who has seen me naked.
:-)

[Erin]

I'm not bothered by tattoos. I've told my child that I prefer them over piercings - at least those piercings that get stretched. Yikes. He is interested in either, or both, but since he's not yet 14, I have a few years to worry.

I am fairly middle-aged and the eldest of 6 - All of my siblings have tattoos. I have none.

They are all far, far hipper than I.

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

I don't know that I ever surprised my parents with anything. I was sort of a straight arrow; though they didn't like it when I lived with my second ex husband, before we got married.

[kathryn]

I was guessing it was gonna be either a piercing or a tat, since you'd smartly ruled out the hair dye.

Oh, God....are we really going down the road of surprising your parents? Da boys are not old enough to surprise me without prior approval from me, which would therefore cause any surprise factor to be null and void.

[Heather]

My dad would say that the worst thing I did was run away for 5 months. I always wanted a tatoo but would chicken out, I just always heard my dad saying "would grandma like what you are thinking" this keep me in check for many years.

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

3 tattoos and lots of "Remember that time I told you X? Well this is what really happened..."