22

First-Born Son turns 22 this month. 22.

At 22 I was out of college and working in the hospital as an RN. I was hanging blood, starting IV's, and calling doctors in the middle of the night, telling them what needed to be done for their patients.

I was still 22 when I transferred to the pediatric unit and started caring for sick, and sometimes dying, children.

I felt so old, so completely grown up. And now I look at my son, all six feet, five inches of him, and realize what a kid I still was. But I was on my way.

Like him I had my own apartment with a roommate. But no longer a student, I paid my own rent. I paid my bills, bought my car, and took on my first cat. Oh, I still hauled my wash over to my parents' house, twenty minutes away, every other week, to use their machines while they were at work.

I may have gone through the cabinets and checked out the attic and basement while I was there as well, searching for anything I could "borrow" to use in my own place.

I had my parents over for dinner and I did not serve them spagettios or tuna fish. I bought a television and a rocking chair.

I didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life except write, and already I felt the constraints of work and time affecting that.

I felt like I needed to act. A year later I was in the middle of making plans to move out west to be a nurse on a Native American Indian reservation when I met The Ex. I never went.

I don't have any regrets. But I'm glad First-Born Son is in a different place at 22. I want him to know he has time. Plenty of time.

He's  doing something he loves. In a place he loves. The rest will work out, one way or another. It always does. He's on his way.

What were you doing at 22?

Comments

[SuziCate]

Amazing isn't it how our generation was on the fast track in life?! My oldest is 23 and getting ready to graduate college (has had a few major switches along the way) and the youngest is 20. I was married at 19 and had my first child at 23. I have no regrets, but on the same note, we tell our kids to take their time...it's the beginning of the rest of their lives! Happy birthday to your first born!

[Jan]

At 22, I was the full-time mother of a very sweet, very quiet and very serious 2-year-old boy and wondering how we were going to pay the rent.

I am more glad than I can say that my grown kids have not jumped into the kind of responsibility I assumed at such a young age, with so little thought. You're right - they are where they are supposed to be and their lives are working out just fine.

Happy Birthday to your son!

[Jen on the Edge]

At 22 I was a recent college graduate and a newlywed. I had a job that I hated, but it was a job and the economy was bad, so I was grateful to be employed. This was in 1991 and my husband and I had a combined income of $33,000. We both had student loans, so we made it a priority to pay them down quickly. We also both while also started our first 401(k)'s and IRA's and put in a tiny bit of money with each paycheck. There was no money for vacations or extras, but we were happy and hopeful for the future.

[LPC]

At 22 I was living in London, working for Cameron Mackintosh. Really. I was. But I was so ill-equipped for life I might as well have been married...with a newborn. I just keep telling younger women, EVERYTHING you do right now is good, as long as you are learning, not hurting anyone, and not hurting yourself. Adulthood doesn't start until at least 25 these days. And since with any luck we can live until 90, good thing too.

[Casey]

Isn't it funny how grown up we thought we were at 22 but how young we actually were? I was living in my apartment, working full time to pay my way through college. I thought I was so mature then but I look back and laugh at the younger me.

[Karal]

I was, at 22, and according to my therapist, going through my mid-life crisis early. quit college, married my high school boyfriend even though I walked down the aisle thinking,'at least I can get divorced later' and unknowingly fighting depression I didn't understand and making things a lot harder than they had to be. I think it's one of the reasons I never had a huge desire for children ~ to see them go through that. Now at 45, and no longer selling myself short, I'm writing and doing photography and diving into all the creative things I love. I wish I had known then what I know now.I wish I could tell my nieces it isn't nearly as complicated as we make it out to be. But I'm glad to be where I am, and hey, my mid-life crisis was over 23 years ago! I found your blog through SuziCate at The Water Witch's Daughter.

[class factotum]

I was a year out of college, living back in Houston after dropping out of grad school in Austin (English -- definitely the right decision), taking peanut butter sandwiches to work for lunch so I could pay my rent and my student loans and save money to get married.

My fiance was still in school -- five years to get a BS in physics/EE; he was planning to get a PhD (he did). Within a few months, we would break up and I would move and everything I thought I knew would fall apart.

Still, I was supporting myself and continued to do so even when I was unemployed and when I was a student again. It never even occurred to me that moving back with my parents was an option. I was grown.

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

I was quickly dissolving my marriage to my high school sweetheart by becoming so self absorbed and self destructive. It was not a good time.

[Mama Badger]

Wow, what a bunch we are...

I was getting a bachelors in Education, living on a rowing coach's salary in a tiny studio apartment. I was just happy Ramen Noodles came in more than one flavor.

Happy 22nd to oldest son. May he always have dreams, and a means to obtain them!

[Sprite's Keeper]

I met John when I was 22. Nothing else matters from that year. :-)
We're celebrating 8 years of marriage now.

[Erin]

I was a recent college grad working a job I hated, dating a jerk, and taking grad school classes at night. It wasn't my best year.
Happy birthday to your boy!

[Camille]

When I was 22 (up until just a few months ago) I was going to college, being married, and dreading the cold of winter. Now, I'm 23, going to college, being married, and coming to terms with the cold of winter. Not much has changed. : )

[Smart Mouth Broad]

I had been married for 3 years, lived 1200 miles away from my parents and was thinking about babies and wondering if it was time. Now my own oldest is about to turn 25. I was already a mother at her age. Scary. Even tho it worked out well, I'm glad she is taking her time.

[foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)]

At 22, I was just out of college and editor of a county newspaper, living on my own for the first time and really getting a handle on this whole independence thing. I loved it! I probably wasn't as prepared as I should have been, but I am still shocked, 20 years later, to know how well I pulled it off! Happy birthday to your 22 year old!

[Heather]

At 22...I was recently seperated from first hubby, after 5 horrible years. Moved in with my BFF and her mother. Meet current hubby at a party and moved to San Antonio with him the next day. What a year!

Happy Birthday to your son!

[Twenty Four At Heart]

Well, that was only two years ago so let's see if I can remember .....

I was still dating Big Weenie ... my well endowed college love. (We dated for six years total.) I was working in the corporate world and I thought I was pretty damn adult-ish. Hmmm ... life is funny. It's changed a lot in the last two years ...

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

At 22 I was engaged and going to school. I was married at 23. They are so much older than we were at 12 and so much younger than we were at 22.

[Jason]

When I was 22, I was married with one daughter and another one on the way, going to school full time and working full time. I was overwhelmed but thanks to my wife's support we made it through.

And oh, yes, and I was trying to stifle the fact that I was gay.

[jessica]

at 22 I had the maturity of a 12 year old and sadly i"m not kidding. I was just starting to do stand up comedy. I was working as a temp and hating every second of it. I don't regret it either. It's what I needed to do at that time and I ended up getting a lot out of the experience.

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

I was a full-time college student, who had just gotten engaged to the man who would eventually end up abusing me. I just really had no concept of life at that age. But you know what, I can spot a man like a him a mile away now, and I've been able to help some other women see that they're not all they're cracked up to be.

[Picture Imperfect]

Great post and fun comments too!

At 22 (8 years ago) I was living in a great basement suite downtown and working at a drugstore on Main Street. I paid all of my own bills (always on time too!) and never once thought that moving back to mom and dad's was an option. (I had been living on my own since I was 17.)

I was dating a total loser, who damaged my self esteem in ways I still sort of deal with today, and taught me to build walls around my heart so that nobody could see the beauty within. He continually discouraged me from taking pictures even - which I have clearly overcome since then. ;o)

I now live in an *upstairs* suite in a great neighbourhood (love my place), work at a job I love, and date a rather respectable fellow whom I've known for years, and who would never dream of hurting me. The walls are still there but I'm learning how to climb them and in some cases, rip them out entirely. I am creative - every single day of my life!

Life is good. :o)

[kathryn]

Happy Birthday to your son! Wow 22....and yet, you're only 30....isn't it funny how that worked out?! (Wink, wink)

I'm glad your son has the chance to do what he enjoys...what makes him happy. I'd love that for my boys as well...that they could somehow manage to do what they love....I'd be so happy for them!

At 22? I was living in an apartment w/a roomie, working and madly in love with a bass player in a band.

So, you did NOT serve your parents spagettios or tuna fish for dinner? I'm curious...what DID you serve them? Inquiring bloggers wanna know....