Spin Cycle: Turning 3

Because Sprite's birthday is coming up, Jen has made this week's Spin Cycle an open forum. So when you get done here, you should check it out.

Sprite is turning three. Which got me thinking. Three is such a magical age. No longer a baby but still so small.

When each of my two daughters turned three, I had to stick them on a school bus and send them off to special pre-k programs.

Now, I grew up in suburban New Jersey and walked to school every day. And when my kids started school, I drove them or we carpooled with neighbors. Except for field trips, I had no experience putting anyone on a school bus. Let alone my tiny, just-turned-three year-old daughters who, except for my parents and a couple of trusted friends and sitters, had essentially never been out of my sight.

Daughter #1 was born with Benign Hypotonia, basically a muscle weakness causing significant delays in her gross motor skills. She didn't roll over for a year, she walked at two, and rode a bike at 12.

Daughter #2 had her speech and hearing issues. Both girls were fortunate to be eligible for excellent pre-k programs modeled for their particular needs. These included door-to-door transportation.

I drove Daughter #1 her first couple of days. But I was seven months pregnant, sick and exhausted, and D #1 wanted to take the bus with her friends. 

I thought I would throw up the first time the big yellow bus pulled up in front of our house and I clipped her into the car seat on board. I waved as it pulled away, then hopped in my car and followed it all the way to her school. I needed to see just how traumatized she would be by the time  she got there.

Instead, she was smiling, proudly carrying her little backpack as she was helped down the steps and led by the hand into her classroom. I, on the other hand, was shaking and nauseous, and could've used a shot of something strong (damn that pregnancy ban on alcohol!).

I never got used to putting her on the bus, but it did become a part of our routine. And after Daughter #2 was born, it was pretty nice not to have to haul her out two extra times each day for the pre-k run.

When it became apparent D #2 needed a special school for her auditory issues, the fact that I would be putting her on a bus, while no less traumatic, was a no-brainer. Her school was farther away, and between getting the other kids fed and out the door to their school on time, the bus (or van in her case) was a life saver.

Then again, she was my third child and I was more laid back. I only followed the van her first day. Although there was that time I passed it on our block as I was on my way home from picking up the other two kids from school. The cops had pulled it over for speeding.

I'd already reported the incident to her school and was waiting in my driveway, arms folded, foot tapping, by the time the driver finally made his way up the road to drop her off. He didn't appear very sorry but no matter; there was a new driver the next day and speed was never an  issue again.

I look back now, amazed that I was able to place these two small girls on a school bus at such a tender age. Part of me still shrieks, what were you thinking! But most of me realizes that at the time I simply could not take one more thing onto my plate.

And somehow, they have both survived.

So congratulations to both of you, Jen, on Sprite's turning three. Does that make her a big girl, or still a baby in your eyes?

I have no idea, but judging how I feel about my own little girls, now 15 and 18, my guess is that it's probably a bit of both.

 

Comments

[Jan]

You have more restraint than I - I wouldn't have strangled that driver...he'd just wish I had.

Every parent has those "What was I thinking???" moments when looking back. I don't if we're too hard on ourselves, or if we should be amazed that any of them survived. LOL

[Lynn]

I couldn't imagine putting my kids on the bus at 3--but yet, I know that if it had to be done, I'd find it in me to do it. We women tend to be able to do what needs to be done even when it's HARD and everything in us is screaming in protest. It's a blessing and a curse.

[Joanie M]

My daughter didn't ride a bike until she was 11 or 12 but that's because she was chicken-shit.

Great spin, Maureen!

[Heather]

I didn't start riding the bus till I was 9. I have a 3 yr old grandson and I don't think I could hand him over to a school bus. That had to be torture, I can only imagine.

My grandson just turned 10 and I still can't get past thinking of him as a baby. From what I gather it doesn't get any easier.

[Pseudo]

I think we are all overwhelmed while raising our kids. I have heard that is why it is so much fun being a grandparent. More time to enjoy the babies...

[Sprite's Keeper]

I cannot imagine putting Sprite on a bus, but then again, I live in an area where preschool buses don't exist. You HAVE to drive your child to preschool!
This morning, she called herself a big girl and corrected me when I called her my baby.
Sniff.
She's having cupcakes with her classmates today. Pink, of course. :-)
Wonderful Spin, Maureen! You're linked!

[Erin]

I had school bus issues too. And that was when my kid was almost 6... yikes.

Great spin, Maureen.

[LPC]

We are always putting them on buses of one sort or another. 23 years of it, so far.

[Mama Badger]

That big yellow bus is a symbol, isn't it? The next phase in life. Great Spin, Maureen!

[Smart Mouth Broad]

I also followed the bus in my car. LOL They do survive. As you know mine are 24 and 19 and they are big girls but will always be my babies. Sometimes it's hard to know the difference. *sigh*

[Kate]

Great spin! I think I'll take a spin too! I love finding great and fun things when I come to read what you're up to!

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

I can't even imagine putting The King on a bus. No way no how. Your one tough cookie.

[Jane]

I thank my lucky stars the school my boys go to doesn't even have a transporation system. You were so brave!

[jessica]

I had to put my daughter on a bus to go to camm this summer. It was very very hard

[Jill]

I remember my first day of school...my mother took me and then stood outside of the classroom window all day so that I could see her. She never left. The bell rung at the end of the day...I walked outside, she took my hand and off we went to Dairy Queen for some celebratory tacos! Your blog brings back memories of my childhood. Thank you for that!

[Gloria Carrington-Ferrira]

Adored reading how you followed the school bus all the way to school. Reminded me of when my son Trojan first went away on a school trip. I was in buckets of tears as he was led away from me and a little offended at how happily he went. The week passed very slowly for me but there he was at the end of it all, big smiles and tons of adventures to tell me about. I remember being proud but a little hurt too because, of course, he was growing up and bit by bit wouldn't need me so much but hey . . that's life!!

[Casey]

My oldest turns three next month and I can't believe it. I would have done the same exact thing, followed the bus to school for awhile. I'm sure my kid would LOVE riding the bus but like you, it would be hardest on me.

[kathryn]

We all do what we have to do, I think. And of course, the oldest one has to break the ice for the ones that follow...whether it's breaking curfew, or being the first to get to stay up later on a school night.

When we were little, no-one thought twice about kids walking to school...now, I doubt anyone still does it, unless the school's next door!

I fought HARD to get Kevin into a special-ed school in New Jersey...we were right on the border (in NY) and it was a hard-won battle...but definitely worth it!

And yes, I remember following the school bus....such memories!

[ThelmaLynch19]

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