Virtual Parenting

My son called me from his cell phone the other day. He was walking on the Lower East Side in Manhattan, shopping for a Halloween costume. He wanted me to find him a certain costume store on-line and tell him how to get there.

So, from my couch in my house on Martha's Vineyard, I directed him to a couple of places within blocks from where he was. Next, I transferred the necessary funds right then and there on-line into his account so he could make the purchase.

I still find all this technology pretty trippy at times. It can bring people together in incredible ways.

I had to laugh a couple of weeks ago when Daughter #1 called from college to tell me she had just downloaded Skype onto her laptop. Skype, for those of you as technologically challenged as I, is pretty much a live video-chat via computer.

Since I have it on my laptop too, Daughter #1 wanted me to video-call her. But wait; not, as one might naturally assume, so she could see her much-longed-for and loving mother, but rather, so I could show her the dog and cats, significant beings she is apparently pining away for.

Then, the night before we went off to Parent's Weekend, she had me do the Skype thing again, this time carrying my laptop upstairs here on the Vineyard to her bedroom, and holding it in front of her closet so she could see and tell me what clothing she wanted me to bring to her at school.

"Show me the scarves behind my door," she ordered impatiently. "Hold that one up. No, not that one. Yeah, that one."

It was arduous work. I think I prefer the telephone.

"Why are you in your pajamas already," she demanded. "It's too early. You need a life."

It was enough to make me want to shut the laptop lid in, or literally on, her face.

Technology is an awesome thing. But I shudder to think what might be next.

Perhaps my kids won't come home for Thanksgiving dinner; we'll just put laptops on the table in the places they should be sitting, and we'll Skype our way through the turkey and cranberry sauce.

Maybe the pumpkin pie will be virtual? Less calories, yes, but I'm not so sure about the taste...

Comments

[Pseudo]

Amazing world we live in, isn't it? Do you think it is helping or hurting our young adult children? Sometimes I wonder... especially the cell phones.

I was worried the other night as our son was coming home from the other side of the island and his phone was out. I worried out loud. Hubs told me a story of his getting a flat on the freeway when he was 17 and how he had just had to deal.
If not for cell phones and internet, how would your son have found and paid for his costume?

[Jan]

THANK YOU. I'm glad I'm not the only parent doing this sort of thing.

For me, cell phones are the most marvelous inventions ever. I can yell at my daughter, who has run off to Las Vegas AGAIN, telling her the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results, while going from the grocery store to the gas station to, finally, the liquor store.

No, the liquor store was not a preplanned stop. Just very, very necessary.

[LPC]

HAhahahhaha. Of course, it only makes sense that new technology is simply another way for our daughters to boss us around. Why not?

[Ocean Girl]

Technology - I have people living in my house!

[Casey]

Oh, I love that you're using technology for all it's worth. My brothers and I all "phone a friend" for directions all the time. And we've recently installed Skype to call my parents who are only 45 min away. It rocks.

[Ginger]

I need to find out more about this Skype! Would it allow me, in North Carolina, to see my grand baby and family that have moved to Michigan, much to my dismay?

[Heather]

My family must really be behind on the times. Just this year, my mom finally got a cell phone and a computer. We haven't caught up enough to even think about Skype.

A laptop Thanksgiving, too funny!

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

@ Ginger- my parents use skype all the time to talk to and visit with my 18mo old niece. Though I'm sure they don't mind catching up with my baby brother and sis-in-law either!

We do things virtually all the time, Maureen. In fact on the way back from my Grandmother's funeral at the first of October, we called to Zach's younger brother, and had him find a Chinese restaurant in Council Grove, IA. He not only found one, he gave us directions to. The internet is a crazy thing.

I wish I'd have had video chatting when I was in college. But then I might have driven my parents nuts!

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

*That should be too, not to. Honest I went to college!

[Mike]

I'm not sure if this means that we are always somewhere other than where we are, or whether we're fulfilling that age old fantasy of being two places at once. The downside is being in a netherworld. When our daughter got mugged while talking to us from a street payphone in Australia the helplessness was excruciating. She picked up the dangling receiver a couple of (very long) minutes later and told us she'd fought the guy off and everything was now fine. We got to be parents and say, no it isn't fine. Go back to the hotel. Now!

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

Sometimes I find technology to be a pain in the ass. I know some people who would really like to invite the laptops versus the actual inlaws! That's an option too, right?

[Erin]

My child still doesn't understand that the only reason he has the cellphone is so he can tell me where he is, or ask permission for going to the next place. It's an electronic leash.

I love shutting the laptop on the skyping.

[Sprite's Keeper]

That's kind of scary if you think about it, virtual dinners, but all you have to do is withhold the money and they'll come home. Then give them the money when you want them to leave again! Control is yours!

[Nancy]

You forgot to inform us as to the costume your son was trying to find?
Technology is a wonderful and as you put it, 'trippy' thing.
Pass the mashed potatoes, please.
:-)

[Smart Mouth Broad]

Your life sounds a lot like mine. Daughter #2 webchats with the dog. There's the constant request for transfer of funds. There's also a lot of picture messaging of outfit approval going on between D1 and D2. Now I'm getting the elist for Christmas. LOL

[Jane]

I love your "laptop Thanksgiving" image! It IS amazing how technology has changed our lives so much in just that past 10 years. And as a result, it changes our attitudes and expectations.....and not always for the better.

[kathryn]

Oh my God...Maureen...this is hilarious! You totally ROCK the technology...I am SO impressed.
And that story of daughter having you hold laptop so she could check out her closet? I'll be telling that story....that's for sure!

Skype-giving....definitely less calories! Love it!

[Kate]

It can be a great and not so great thing...all at the same time! I find that I depend on it too much and then when I can't use it, I don't know what to do!

[jessica]

i take Spanish lessons twice a week with Skype. It's incredible. Got love technology and it costs less then when we got together in person (when she lived here that is)

[Twenty Four At Heart]

I've been using skype for a long time. (Briefcase travels a ton!) I love it most of the time. It is disconcerting when my kids skype from college though and I'm in my pj's and their roommates or friends walk in to join them.

[Picture Imperfect]

Haha... I love the image of the laptops at dinner! I Skype with my dad sometimes when he's away for work. Used to use it with my long distance boyfriend... but haven't had any reason to Skype for quite some time now.

LOVE the "look in my closet so I can see which clothes I want" tact. Your daughter is smart! ;o)

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

I love the cellphone for shopping approval when I'm not present. It works MOST of the time.

[Kimberly]

Ha! Ha! That is funny. It is crazy how advance it's all become. I haven't jumped on the SKYPE thing yet. I don't need anyone watching me while I talk to them live - but I like your daughters uses for it.