Scent of a Woman

 

I once, for over a year, dated a guy who had no sense of smell.

There's an actual name for this, anosmia, and, unlike most people who get it, either from an illness or injury, he was born that way.

I know what you're thinking: free pass for the days when you skip a shower or those nights you have too much Mexican.

He too, seemed to be under the impression that the world was full of noxious odors like rotting fish or cat pee, and that he was much better off not smelling it. He  considered the ability to smell fairly useless.

I wasn't so sure. My sense of smell is extremely acute, and for that I'm generally very grateful. Life is filled with things that smell good: an herb garden, freshly baked cookies, lilacs......me.

Seriously, I happen to have it on very good authority. People lean in all the time and say, "Ooh, you smell really good." Could they all be lying? Possibly, I guess, but tell me, what would be the point?

This man had no idea that every person had their own unique scent. That rain smells different than snow, or that the scent of Halloween is different than that of Christmas.

How about the fact that our sense of smell evolved to protect us? What would've happened to all those cave men and women in the woods doing all that hunting and gathering if they couldn't smell fresh saber-toothed tiger poop? Or fire?

Think about the consequences today if you couldn't smell a gas leak, or that your dinner was burning. Or that your house was on fire.

This guy, ironically enough, wound up with a family of skunks wintering under his porch. Sure, it didn't bother him, but it was killing me. Okay, maybe I don't mean actual death, but the smell was giving me migraines which is pretty damned close to dying. Not to mention my kids started to complain that I came home reeking of Eau de Skunk.

I finally gave him an ultimatum: me or the skunks. He thought I was being dramatic. Nevertheless he set several traps and got out his gun.

Well, what did you expect? That some petting zoo flew on to the Vineyard and offered to capture them, surgically remove their scent glands, and then re-release them into the wild where, even today, they return to eat nuts from his hand and winter under his porch?

Come on people, this is Martha's Vineyard Real World, Off-Season Edition; there are probably as many guns here as there are skunks (and no, I don't own one).

But alas, even skunk-less, our relationship was not meant to be. That's okay. From now on I only date men who know what a good thing is when they smell it. And yes, I mean me.

 

Comments

[SuziCate]

As much as I complain about stinky stuff,it would be horrible to miss out on all of the wonderful scents. Funny post!

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

I can't imagine not being able to smell. What about the sweet smell of my little baby? Or him telling me, "Mommy farted!"

Loved this...

[Diane]

I do recall the abundance of skunks on the island. Shocking, really. I recall sitting in the backyard one evening when dusk fell. Suddenly skunks just emerged from the perimeter of the yard and were walking all around. I waited patiently, found an opening and made a break for the house.

But along with the bad is a more than adequate dose of the good, as you point out. Fragrances that bring back memories, make food and wine taste so much better, and add a layer of saturation to the rest of our senses.

[Jen on the Edge]

Does that mean he also had no sense of taste? Usually the two are connected.

I can't imagine not smelling things.

[PLRH]

Sense of smell is also connected to long-term memory. Did he have a lousy memory too?

I'm sure you smell like honeysuckle and sea air. :)

[Erin]

He would be suited to working in my classroom full of farters.

I am cursed with an acute sense of smell... but luckily, Other half smells very good. Danger Boy?... oh-so-notsomuch.

[Mama Badger]

I'm with Erin. I love the way my kids smell! And my husband. It's part of his allure.

I feel you on the skunks, though. Whew, they are a bit more than one should have to put up with.

[LPC]

Have you seen the research that says if you smell good to eachother you will make good children?

[Twenty Four At Heart]

He couldn't SMELL?? Did he take showers? Or did he think there was no need?

[Jane]

Like Jen I was wondering about the sense of taste issue, too. I'd certainly be a lot thinner if I had no sense of taste! But I have so many "scent" related memories that I would never want to go away. I can't imagine not being able to smell.

[Uppity]

Love that the guy with no sense of smell had skunks move in under the porch. They thought they had it made, and then you went and ruined it for them!

[Ann]

I'm with you. I think it's a bit tragic. Surely it affected his sense of taste, too.

oops, that came out wrong.

I mean literally he probably couldn't taste his food as well.

;)

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

There are so many smells I would miss--but skunk is not one of them!

[lisleman]

"rain smells different than snow" I like the smell of a rain but honestly I don't smell snow. Maybe my nose is running after I'm out in it.
Smells of course trigger memories. The moist smell of pea gravel or new lumber reminds me of my dad. He was contractor and carpenter.
I should write a post on how I mixed up the movie title 'Scent of a Woman'.

[Heather]

Martha's Vineyard unvieled! LOL!!

Usually the first sign that you stepped in dog poop, is cause you smell it! I feel sorry for the dude! LOL

[Pseudo]

Yeah, I'd miss all the good smells too. Lavendar and rosemary are two of my favorites. And of course the ocean's saltiness.

[jessica]

i went on a date with a guy who had lost his sense of taste, not in women, as he had chosen me to go out with (ha ha)

[Gropius]

This post is interesting, insightful and hilarious at once. Thank you! My recent experiences in Texas were very skunk filled...the scent is EVERYWHERE. I think we tend to take our sense of smell for granted...it's one of the most important identifiers of danger, as you pointed out. Can't imagine not knowing the smell of mangrove swamps, Christmas trees, and of course chocolate chip cookies.

[Menopausal New Mom]

My mom's best friend was married to a man without a sense of smell and like your old boyfriend, he was born that way. Unfortunately for him though, he couldn't taste either. He hated pasta and no wonder, imagine not being able to taste good food!

[Joanie M]

There are time when I wish my sense of smell didn't work, but all in all, I'd rather like smelling wood burning and a nice cologne

[Jersey Girl]

Amazing, and very appropriate, that the skunks picked his place to nest. Isn't it ironic, don't cha think?

[Kate]

I've never heard of this before. If it was a hard decision between skunks and you, he wasn't a keeper!

[Casey]

Hilarious.

I can't imagine not being able to smell, I think it would be terrible. Although most perfumes and cleansers give me an instant migraine so it might be a nice change.

And you do smell nice, I can smell you from here.

[kathryn]

Well, I definitely can't see you with anyone who doesn't have keen senses. You're so articulate and aware of your environment...you need someone more like you.

That guy should move to Manhattan...he could travel the subways all day and never pass out from the B.O.

[Sprite's Keeper]

My sister-in-law has the same condition and it affected her sense of taste as well. She came to have it by way of an accident when she was a teen. We always forget about it though when we're out to dinner and ask her how her dinner tastes. She always says it's great, but then again, she's just that nice. :-)

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

Smell has so much to do with how good/bad your food tastes too. Poor guy. I've had to shoot a skunk before. Nasty. Ick. They'd be awful cute if they weren't stinky!

[Picture Imperfect]

I, too, once dated a non-smeller. The difference was, he *lost* his sense of smell when he was already an adult. So he knew what he was missing. At least he had an appreciation for those of us who could/had to smell everything around us.

Now I want to smell you! LOL hope that doesn't creep you out. ;o)