Martha Norton

Brothers and sisters torture one another. This is a fact of life. It's that whole love/hate thing. Maybe it's practice for the real world. Toughens us up so we can take whatever life might throw at us.

I used to tell my sister really outrageous lies. That we were moving, or that we were getting a dog. Things I knew she would start out not believing. But that was the fun part. I  would then spend the next half hour convincing her they were really true.

I would be solemn, straight-faced, and back myself up with fabulous false logic. Finally she would believe me. At which point I would pounce. "Gotcha! I can't believe you thought that was true."

Mind games. The worst type of torture. My two older children, First-Born Son and Daughter #1, have a habit of banding together against my youngest, Daughter #2. Before she understood much Spanish, they had her convinced, at age seven, that her name translated into Spanish as La Idiota.

Until the night she proudly announced it at the dinner table. "Well my name in Spanish is La Idiota." I couldn't help it. I laughed. Then so did she. The two older kids were visibly relieved. They were safe. This time.

For the last nine years since we moved to the Vineyard, they've been telling Daughter #2 she's adopted. A common enough sibling torture treatment, I realize. But they've added their own special twist.

They tell her she was adopted from Russia. Her real parents had 11 other children. But because she was hearing impaired (an injury apparently sustained when she was accidentally shot with a potato gun), her parents gave her up for adoption. Cruel, I know.

Her real name, they inform her, is Martha Norton. Now, Norton is an old Martha's Vineyard name, not exactly Russian. But Daughter #1 swiped it from a gravestone, and Daughter #2 never questioned its ethnic origins, so Martha Norton it remains.

This convoluted tale brings laughter or tears, depending on the day. Or hour. D #2 might scream, "I hate you," at her siblings, and run from the room sobbing as they high-five one another.

Or she may actually go along with the story. As she does when her sister's friends remark on how different the two of them are. "But that's probably because you're adopted," they'll say, completely in on the ruse. "Yeah," she'll nod. "I'm really Russian."

I try and stay out of it. No matter which side I come down on, I can only make things worse. And, as D #2 likes to tell me, no doubt only her real family, the one from Russia, would truly understand.

Got any good sibling horror stories, either your own or those of your children? Or are my kids perhaps more evil than even I could have imagined?

 

 

Comments

[SuziCate]

Love this story. Seems we all enjoy torturing the ones we love most in life, and we dare anyone else to mess with them!

[Michele]

You have really inventive children. That's a good thing. Unfortunately, they use it to torture the youngest. That's a bad thing. I bet if push came to shove and someone outside of the family really picked on her her older brother and older sister would come to her rescue.

[Jen on the Edge]

What a great story. I love the creativity and thought that went into it.

None of my siblings could ever claim that any of us was adopted because we all look so much alike. Instead, my brothers used to just beat the crap out of each other and my sister and I would get into screaming matches. Because my sister and I are so much older than our brothers, there was never any problem between brothers and sisters.

[Jill]

When I was 33 I found out I really was adopted! So, you never know!

[Casey]

Oh, that's MEAN! Apparently they got the teasing bone from their mom. Except Daughter #2 since she's not really your daughter. Ha.

My two brothers are older than me so I got all of the tricks and tall tales told to me. I remember one time in my grandma's cellar when an old lamp shocked me, my brother told me (stern faced) that people die after getting shocked but it takes 30 minutes. So I ran upstairs, wailing and waiting to die. Nice brothers.

[Jan]

My kids all get on remarkably well - Beloved's girls just like to beat each other up (you think I'm joking, but I'm not). Me and my sibs though? My poor brother learned to duck at a VERY young age; he lived with three hormonal sisters who all LOVE to throw things when they're mad. I couldn't use the whole "your adopted" bit on Sister #1 or my brother - we all look too much alike; I'm sure if I'd used it on Sister #2 she would have just been relieved (and immediately started searching for her "real" family so she could get the heck out of the zoo that was our house).

Come to think of it, we pretty much just beat each other up, too.

[The gold digger]

A potato gun? A POTATO GUN? What the heck is that?

[PLRH]

My older borther and sister tortured me as well with the adoption story. It was fairly easy for them to pull it off since I'm the only one in the family with red hair. But they were never as creative as your children developing a whole background story. That's great!

[Diane]

after watching road runner & wylie coyote cartoons, my brother got the idea that he could decapitate me if he secured nylon string at neck level across the hallway and then called me to come running out of my room down the hallway. he was so disappointed when it didn't work.

[LPC]

My sister and I once left my brother in the bathtub. He was 4, we were 5 and 8. We told him that aliens had come to earth, that everyone might have been killed, and that we had to go find out. He needed to stay very still in the bathtub or he would be killed. My mother found him some time later, blue and terrified. I think adopted isn't bad at all.

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

One of the downsides of being and only child and only having one child.

Cute post!

[Erin]

Oh there was a heap of torture among myself and my 5 siblings. It was not pretty.
I think everyone plays the adopted game from time to time, eh?
:-)

[Mama Badger]

It's the first rule of siblings. Torture one another. Rule #2 is that only siblings can torture eachother- outsiders beware!

You were a deceptive kid, btw. I seem to recall that this is not the only story you told as a kid. Hee hee hee.

[Vincent]

People I knew had taken a while getting their love/lust legalised, and had a girl and a boy before bothering to visit a man of the cloth.
Over the years the kids had gotten to hear of this state of events but somehow had mixed up the dates, such that the girl 2nd born would call 1st born son a very legally technical Latin term. Only to discover that the 'got married when she was pregnant with a girl' referred to her younger sister.

[Sprite's Keeper]

Bwahahaha!
Oh, I just want to hug D #2!
When we were in 4th grade, my parents informed us we were moving into an Amish home. (There are NO Amish areas anywhere in Florida that I'm aware of.)
I was convinced I was adopted since my eyes were hazel green and my parents had blue and my sister had blue. Also there were no baby pictures of me until much later, but it turns out that my dad was just really lazy or way too busy with my almost 2 year old sister when I came alone.
I vote for lazy.

[A Mom on Spin]

Oh my husband had my children convinced that there was a whole other set of children who lived in our attic. . . replacements for them if you will!

They were terrified, and not one of them ever goes up in the attic without some sort of trepidation.

[jessica]

Oh Maureen. Where do I even begin?

[Keely]

Wow, that's inventive! And...kind of mean. But funny. I don't know if it's appropriate to laugh though.

The meanest thing I ever convinced my brother of was that his Hallowe'en candy was no good, and he should give it to me. I don't know how he fell for it every year but there ya go.

[Lisa]

They are way too mean. My brother used to tell me I was adopted and would show me photos of our parents and say "See, you don't look anything like them...." He didn't realize until only a few years ago that I believed him for years after that. My Mom didn't know until only a few years ago why I kept asking her "Are you sure I'm not adopted?" until I was in my late teens.

[Beth]

Your kids are funny! I love that their stories! :)

And they are perfectly normal.

My brother used to completely torture my sister and I. His favorite was the time he wanted to have a contest to see who could hit the softest. He told me to go first. I balled up my fist and barely touched him. Then he balled up his fist and hit me hard all while announcing, "You win!"

[Gropius]

Hilarious! My cousin's brother AND father managed to convince her when she was young that she was a black lab. That's pretty bad.

[Peggy]

I was constantly tortured by my older siblings (#5 of 6) and in turn tortured my poor little sister unmercifully. Have you not read her post on the "Almost Lethal Combination" over at The Water Witches Daughter? Yeah, that was me... My brothers used to think it was funny to push me into my older sister when she wasn't paying attention knowing she would think I did it on purpose and then beat the crap out of me. AHHHHH, sibling love! Is there anything greater?

[Joanie M]

I'm 4th of 8 kids. Someone was always begin tortured.. I mean tormented at my house.

[She Writes]

Hi :). I am sure i read this and commented to you by email. This time it looks as if it allowing me to post!

xxAmy

[Ocean Girl]

Children, they have the weirdest of conversations. Don't wonder where they learn them from.

[Shelby]

a child's coversation is the most precious.. communication at its beginning and purity (well, mostly.. in idea anyway).

cheers.

[vodkamom]

My children are STILL torturing each other, and believe me- it NEVER ends in laughter.

damn them.

[Jen]

My brother did the same thing to me, made up all kinds of stories that were not believable but yet I did after hours of his telling me them. Only to be told how gullible I was. I think I might call him and tell him what an ass he was. The adoption thing wouldn't work, we looked too much alike. He tormented me. My kids do the same things to each other as well. It must be genetic or something. And I try to stay out of it too.

[kathryn]

Yeah....kids can be so cr-uel. It's any wonder we made it to adulthood.

I was the eldest...and perfect in every way. I have no recollection of ever saying an unkind word to any of my siblings. (They're not reading this, right??)

My own sons, however? That's another story. Connor wouldn't touch a meatball for 3 years 'cause Taylor had convinced him that they were cow's testicles. Niiiiiice.....

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

I can't think of anything specific that my little brother and I did to gang up on our sister - the middle child, but my mother says we were and can still be relentless in our teasing of her. I do remember that I used to pop balloons in her face, and hide in the closet when it came time to clean our room so she would have to do it all.

@ kathryn above- cow testicles are yummy if you fry them and dip them in ranch dressing!

[TC]

In our family the torture is spread through the generations and it's adapted instead of adopted, probably because they are playing (I hope) @ being hillbillies.