Spin Cycle: Opinions

My mother used to comment about some people,  "She/He has an opinion on everything."

As though that was a bad thing. This, from a woman who is rather opinionated herself.

To be fair, I'm sure she meant those bombastic folks who attempt to overpower you with their opinions, while appearing seemingly deaf to anything you might have to say on the subject.

I like people with opinions. I admire those who have the courage to stand up for, and live by, their convictions. Even when they're way different than my own.

To paraphrase Martin Luther King, if I may: You have to stand for something, or you're going to fall for anything.

This is one thing I've tried to instill in my three kids. Agree with someone or disagree. But don't be wishy-washy. Don't worry that others might dismiss you because you speak your mind.

Not everything is worth an argument. In fact, the older I get, the more I seem to mellow on so many things I once considered  hugely important. Age does that, I think.

Then again, some things are worth going out on a limb for. It's easy not to have an opinion. It's a really safe place to hide.

But life shouldn't be about hiding. And in the end I think it's true; you do have to stand for something or you'll fall for just about anything.

It's true for countries, marriages, families, friends, for pretty much everything worthwhile.

What do you think?

For more opinionated Spins visit Sprite's Keeper. I definitely think you should. But that's just my opinion.

Comments

[SuziCate]

I think everyone's opinion whould be respected whether we agree or not. However, I don't think anyone should make their opinion their agenda. Simply put, we should live what we believe.

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

I agree. Unfortunatley for me, I avoid conflict so if my opinion isn't fitting in with the norm I tend to become wishy washy just to avoid conflict. I need to plant my feet and stand firm. Great post.

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

I think you're absolutely right! Great post. And you gave me my spin cycle idea for the week! Thanks!

[Mrsbear]

Well stated. I am not a big fan of confrontation and I'm even worse at arguing my opinions, but I do have them. What I find as I get older is not so much that I'm wishy-washy but that I can see various perspectives with equal clarity, so that certain issues aren't just black and white, but many gray hues.

[Lynn]

I love that there are differences of opinion. How boring would conversations be if everyone agreed or thought about things the same. What annoys me, though, is when someone thinks their opinion is the only one that matters and gets wound up and border on abusive unless others agree. Honestly. Lighten up, I say, and let people think what they want. That's not to say that trying to explain the merits of your view is a bad thing. Perhaps it will change someone's mind about things. If so--that's well and good. But if not, no point in arguing the point until relations get strained. What's the point? Agree to disagree.

Sometimes when we think something and then express it out loud and see what others have to say, we find that either we see the need to rethink our opinion a bit or find that by expressing it we grow firmer in our convictions. Either one isn't a bad thing but they never happen if we keep those opinions to ourselves and/or don't listen and respond with openess and respect to the opinions of others.

Do you agree, or should I continue? Because until you agree with me, I will go on, and on, and on... ;o)

[Jen on the Edge]

I agree! I've stopped hiding as much as I used to and expressing my opinion more.

[WickedStepMom]

Bear and I were just talking about this actually. We are so worried that the kids of today are going to fall for anything when they are older. It just seems like so many people are floating and no one is standing for anything anymore.

[TheKitchenWitch]

I think the key is to express our opinions with tact and listen to others with civility. Too often people just spout their own agenda (as loud as they can) and refuse to even consider another view. I think that's what I REALLY can't abide.

[Sprite's Keeper]

I always try to respect others' opinions in the regards that they should respect mine, but sometimes, I find that an "opinion" edges more on pure hatred or slander with a biased slant and those I always lose respect for.
Great Spin!
You're linked!

[BumbleVee]

Like you say, not everything is worth an argument, but so often that's exactly what happens if you express an opinion isn't it? ... ..especially one that differs from that of whoever is holding forth on their own views. A lot of the time you don't even get a chance to say lets agree to disagree.... depending on who it is that gets riled.....

I have lived a very full life...been through a lot of situations .. always had my own opinions... be they right or wrong.. and for that reason... have been maligned ... both to my face and behind my back by so called friends, relatives and in-laws.... I finally got fed up with them being so irritated by my ideas or opinions that I dumped them from my list of acquaintances.

The one that really gets me is people with kids who denounce my opinions on anything to do with kids .... saying I don't know what I am talking about because I've never had any. I'm still entitled to know (or even to say out loud) what I think I know.

A couple of cliches always spring to mind... I can sometimes see the forest..because I'm not standing as close to the trees as they are... and..... ... I certainly don't have to jump in front of a speeding truck to know it's going to hurt when I get hit....

[Jan]

I love people with strong opinions who aren't afraid to express them, or else I wouldn't be married to Beloved. That being said, I have a strong distaste for people who think their opinion is the the only *right* one (my ex-husband was definitely of the "you have every right to your opinion as long as it's mine" school of thought). Different opinions and points of view are what makes things interesting; one of my favorite sayings is "If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary."

[PLRH]

I love that! "Don't be wishy-washy." Great advice!

[Erin]

I know someone who hides behind the no opinion or no conflict stance, and it bites him in the butt every time.
Great spin. ;-)

[jessica]

are you kidding? The shit that I have let lie, it's amazing. Hell yeah, age mellows you. I don't have the energy anymore. I used to be wishy washy but no more. It's hard sometimes b/c people can be very pushy with their opinions, unrelenting, b/c they want you to see the world the way they do. I stand up for what I believe in but it is hard.

[lisleman]

bring back arm wrestling - no just kidding although some arm wrestling could be good exercise. Depending on subject sometimes it's better to keep your opinion to yourself and other times speak out. The problem I think, are people that don't know when to apply the right rule.

[LPC]

I only wish I had learned this earlier in life.

[kys]

I was raised by a domineering/controling mother so it is very difficult me to stand up for what I believe in now. It doesn't matter if it's something trivial like where to go for dinner or something big like universal healthcare. Some things are hard to overcome when they've been reinforced for so many years.

[Uppity]

Opinions are great. But so many times people form them about subjects on which they are actually not well-informed. Often they find that out (sometimes embarrassingly) via someone who actually IS well-informed. So in addition to teaching our kids to speak honestly about what they believe, we should also advise them to use good judgment about when to voice their opinion and when to continue gathering data. JMHO. ;)

[Jane]

I agree! But I wish we, as a whole, appreciated opinions more. I think, especially women, are afraid to voice their opinions.

[Gropius]

So true. You can't argue all the time. An I've seen more than my share of people who argue just for the sweet hell of it. Oh Cheesus.

Choose battles wisely, but always know what you stand for!

[Kristen @ Motherese]

Like several previous posters, I am so conflict averse that I will bend and shape my opinions to please the crowd I'm in. It's not something I'm proud of and reminders like this help. A work in progress: that's me.

[Twenty Four At Heart]

I'm a pretty opinionated opinion but I temper that with a lot of respect with opinions which conflict with mine. At the same time ... if you ask me what I think - I'll never be shy about sharing or explaining why.

[Pseudo]

I remember my dad telling my litle and sister and I "does it really matter who is right? You two need to learn how to pcik your battles..."

[kathryn]

I think it's fabulous to have an opinion about things....but it needs to be an educated opinion, as opposed to a knee-jerk one. I know ppl who base their opinions on how their parents reacted to the same subject, or sometimes it seems to be based on their own bias or something they've heard but not verified.

It's like basing all your knowledge on wikipedia instead of CNN. Hard for form an educated opinion when you may not have all your facts straight.

[Zen Mom]

Wise words to live by. I too am pretty opinionated, but have come to temper those opinions with respect for differing ones.

[Ocean Girl]

My children are very opinionated, they scare me. They took after me (us). I had domineering thinking, you could tell if you looked at our bookshelves.

Now though, I am trying to just live high and take it easy. I guess, it is age :)

[Bumby Scott]

Here..Here well said.
I just found you, thanks to LPC.
I have added you to my reader. I like your take on things.

Always Bumby

[Casey]

I'm fine with people having opinions (since I'm so softspoken about mine) but I hate when they try to push theirs on me.

I have one brother who's a beer snob and is always trying to get me to "take a sip, you'll like it" or listen to his banjo music or whatever and it's annoying. My other brother is hard core about his politics (completely opposite than mine) and it almost gets us in shouting matches every time. Grr.

[Heather]

I have plenty of opinions, but most of the time, my family is sick of hearing them. We have got to where, we avoid certain subjects.

I can at times be relentless. I stand firm on my opinions, but also am willing to here others. Sometimes others will reveal something that maybe I hadn't thought about.

[TC]

I told the truth (opinion) yesterday when a white lie would have done just as well and probably been better for me and the other person. BUT it was my opinion and I shared it. I really do hope it doesn't come back to bite me on the butt but I'd probably do it again.

[Patty]

You know, this is something I never thought to teach my kids, but you are totally right. I often swallow my opinion for fear that it will offend others, but I then end up not being heard, which makes me resentful. I am trying to work on that. Trying to gain confidence and understand that other people's opinions are not necessarily better than mine.

Thanks for making me think.

[Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)]

Well said, Maureen! A lot of times I won't throw in my two-cents because of that fear of rejection - that my opinion will be rejected by those that are opinionated. As I get older, though, I don't tend to worry about that as much. ;) But I'm certainly not one to force my opinion on someone else - everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I know for me I'm more open to listening - and respecting - someone else's opinion if it's not forced on me. :)