Spin Cycle: Pet Peeves

Whenever I read about Martha's Vineyard (aka, my home) in the paper or see it featured on TV, one of the first things inevitably mentioned is how it's a playground for the rich and famous.

And I suppose, in the summer, maybe it is. But while there are nice enough shops and some wonderful restaurants,  it just doesn't compare to my idea of a real playground for the rich and famous, say, Beverly Hills or Manhattan. There are no chic clubs here, no "right side"of the tracks. And of course, no paparazzi or screaming fans.

Just miles and miles of dirt roads and beautiful beaches that are, for the most part, not crowded with houses. Not a boardwalk in sight. The rich and famous come here to escape all the other stuff. The noise, the crowds, the designer bullshit. The allure of the Vineyard seems to be a whole lot of nothing.

Those of us who actually live here know this. But we get a little sick and tired of the world thinking we live in a resort community. The words conjure up visions of gated neighborhoods and beautiful people, clad in tennis-whites, riding around in golf carts.

Nothing could be further from the truth. For the roughly 14,000 people who live on Martha's Vineyard year-round it's merely our home. Our beautiful, bustling-in-the-summer, gray-in-the-winter, out-of-the-way home. 

We work hard to be here because we like living where there are no shopping malls or highways. The Vineyard is an accepting environment, one where artists and ideas flourish, and it's an amazingly kid-friendly community.

But because it's an island, and everything has to be hauled across the water to get here, the cost of living is higher. Sixty percent more than to live in mainland Massachusetts. So obviously that must mean we're all rich, right?

Actually, the average islander earns 30 percent less than mainland Massachusetts residents. Fewer people, fewer choices, fewer jobs.

The Vineyard is an open, supportive community, one that sure as hell isn't gated. There's an eclectic mix of people, many working multiple jobs to make ends meet. Others rent out their houses each summer to pay the mortgage for the year, or work their butts off non-stop during the tourist season so that they might scrape by the rest of the year.

We talk a lot here about "affordable housing," but what that really means is just housing that's realistic for the average islander: the schoolteachers, police officers, business owners, nurses.

Could we all live somewhere else, somewhere cheaper?  Sure. But we choose to live here. Where we can see the waves every day and where we know our neighbors. Where there's not a lot of cursing-out the other drivers on the road, because those same people will no doubt be in front of you in line at the grocery store the next day.

And where, come July and August, it's a veritable playground if you're rich and famous. Or so they say...

But actually, it's not too shabby for the rest of us either. The average and mundane, or even, the poor and infamous.

Let's face it, we all have ideas in our minds about lots of places that in reality couldn't be farther from the truth.  Places like Southern California, Florida,  Brooklyn, or Maine. Or how about the Jersey Shore?

What's the one thing people think about the place where you live that drives you crazy? That's just completely misunderstood?

To read more about other bloggers' pet peeves, be sure to visit Sprite's Keeper.

 

Comments

[Soundbounder]

Provincial stereotypes have always been a pet-peeve of mine. Martha's Vineyard struggles with the same image of wealth as Aspen, Sag Harbor, Manhattan (you're guilty too), etc. The wealth certainly exists, but it doesn't tell the whole story.
Television only reinforces the stereotypes. It is much easier to portray New Jersey as a Jersey Shore/Sopranos place and ignore that people such as Meryl Streep and Martha Stewart are from there as well.
When I traveled across the country and lived in Southern California, people were often shocked that I didn't speak like Fran Drescher.
The same holds true for many New England towns. In Mystic Pizza, the town is portrayed as an old ethnic, isolated, fishing port where everyone fishes and eats "lobstas". Hardly very accurate!

I could go on and on!

[Lynn]

I can't think of anything here, but when I lived in northern BC, people who visited were sometimes surprised that we had electricity, didn't live in igloos, and that we didn't use sled dogs. When I lived in Vancouver, just above WA state where there IS electricity, I had some people convinced that I was running my computer on an extension cord running across the border to Blaine, WA.

People can be so silly. But it's easier to foster stereotypes than to open up the brain to the variety and intricacy of the reality.

[Sprite's Keeper]

People tend to think that just because I'm a Floridian, I must spend all my time at the beach. We live 20 minutes from the beach and I can count on 1 hand the amount of times we've taken Sprite. I'd rather hit the pool any day! Yes, during the winter, our days are usually somewhere in the 70's and sunny, but during the summer? Temps over 100 and humidity to match. It's really NOT that pleasant. :-)
Great Spin! You're linked!

[SuziCate]

Good for you for setting the record straight. I think a lot of stereotyping comes from the media. Your Martha's Vineyard sounds lovely. I enjoyed this post as always. One of these days I'm going to get to see it for myself.

[The gold digger]

This attitude isn't necessarily place specific, but I suppose it is correlated with place - this idea that just because people are not highly educated that they are not qualified to run their own lives. My husband, bless his heart, tends to be this kind of snob sometimes. He gets this from his father, who thinks he should be telling everyone else what to do. What makes his dad think he would be the one in charge after the revolution I don't know.

[Ocean Girl]

I can't imagine anyone would think Soundbounder would sound anywhere close like the Nanny!

[Ocean Girl]

Did I say it right?

[LPC]

That in Northern California we are all hippies. Because it used to be true and it isn't any more and truth be told I miss those days.

[Casey]

Come on, tell the truth. You're lounging in your bath robe right now eating caviar and drinking champagne. You probably don't even type your posts yourself, you narrate to your butler and he does the typing for you.

[Julie]

When I lived on the Vineyard in the 1970's, there were only 6000 people. I still had to explain where it was when I traveled. The Vineyard then to me was guys in Carharrts, single moms with broken cars, a ferry that stopped running at 7 pm in the winter, and many people on unemployment. I am always shocked when people assume that I come from old New England money when I say I grew up on the Vineyard. But it also meant a warm and caring community, and gorgeous beaches we had to ourselves all winter.
I think there is a lot of hype surrounding the rich and famous who have always been part of the island summers, but the reality to me is still Reliable Market in Oak Bluffs. Where a couple of summers ago I heard the checkout guy tell the woman in front of me that "This is where working people shop. You want that fancy lettuce go to Cronigs".
My pet peeve is the myths we tell ourselves about other people's lives, because we don't have the patience to listen or ask for the truth.

[Mama Badger]

Well, now you've ruined it for me. I just assumed you were a single mom, raising your kids and tripping the life fantastic;)

I'm from Upstate NY originally, and as you've seen on Travel Thursday, it peeves me when people assume I'm from the city, or that all of NY is like the city.

Or, now that I'm in Cleveland, Drew Carey is everyone's neighbor. Hmmm, not really.

[Heather]

I hand my head in shame..Before it started reading your blog, I too had the wrong impression of Martha's Vineyard. I always thought of it as a place that was strictly for the rich, I was stupid in not thinking about the regular people it takes to keep a place running. I love how you have opened my eyes.

Texas is cattle country! Yes this may be true but that would be outside the cities. I still tend to get excited when I do see a cow. I don't see them often.

Texas is full of cowboys. I must be hanging with the wrong crowd. I've only seen a true cowboy once in all the years I've been here. Texaas is mostly full of Mexicans.

[Jan]

I can't say about Ohio, but there are so many misconceptions about my REAL home - Texas - I'm hesitant to even attempt to list them here.

I've heard everything from the ludicrous (everyone has an oil well on their property and rides a horse everywhere), to the geographically uninformed (it's all desert or all ranch land) to the infuriating (the entire state is populated by racist, redneck, Southern cross waving, bible-thumping Republicans). The whole "Buckle on the Bible Belt" label makes me absolutely foam at the mouth.

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

I love how you talk about the Vineyard. The people, the place - the whole "experience" seems like a place I would love.

Reno gets a bad rap - well, because it's Reno. Reno 911 and other shows/music haven't done it justice. But it's a beautiful place if you're not in the center of downtown.

[Kristina P.]

Well, I live in Salt Lake City, and am Mormon. You can imagine the misinformation I hear. Mormons are not polygamists anymore. Haven't been for over 100 years. I don't have 10 sister wives. Wish I did sometimes!

[Twenty Four At Heart]

Pretty much everything people THINK about South Orange County is true. Unfortunately.

[Jen @ lifelove'n'wine]

I have lived in RI for a little over a year now, but for the first 24 years of my life I lived in Maine. Whenever I mention it, people only think one of two things:

A. Kennebunkport - The ocean, the mansions, the lobster, all so beautiful. The truth? It's touristy. That is not Maine. That is where all of the vacationers and out of staters usually are. And lobster? We love it...but it's expensive! It's not like we get to eat it year round or even all summer...I was lucky to have it twice a year!

B. The backwoods, no civilization for miles Maine full of hicks: Ok, there are parts of Maine that are like this...way up north. But where I'm from in the Portland area, there are malls, bars, clubs, libraries, colleges, and anything else that you would expect to find in a normal town.

[class factotum]

We do spend most of our time in Milwaukee drinking beer and eating cheese curds, though. And I'm cool with that, because I need the fat to keep warm in the winter.

[Kristen @ Motherese]

I am a recent transplant to the Midwest. When some of my new neighbors learned that Husband grew up in New York City, they assumed that we are rich. I wish!

[Terry]

That here in Northern California we all have hot tubs. How I want I hot tub!

[Menopausal New Mom]

I love this post! How true it is that we have preconceived ideas when we hear where others live. Thank you for the low down on your own community.

I guess what bugs me is always being asked if I'm French when I tell others I'm from Canada. Not that there is anything wrong with being French, however they make up a very small segment of our population although they seem to make the most noise Lol!

[Tracie]

Everyone in Kentucky smokes and drinks bourbon. (Only 3/4ths do. LOL)

[Gretchen]

Everybody thinks that LA is hot all the time! Drives me crazy. Every time I drive down Hollywood Blvd. I see scads of idiot tourists shivering in their shorts and tank tops in 50 degree weather. Doesn't anybody watch the weather channel? The truth about our weather? It's "pleasant" all the time. Which is damned nice. But "pleasant" in the winter includes 45 degree nights.

[Jane]

Or if you're from the south you must be married to your second cousin, dropped out of high school, live in a small town with one stoplight and therefore you are an idiot! But on a lighter note, I love hearing about where you live. Stereotypes and all - it sounds wonderful.

[Rowe]

Hi Maureen, thanks for your visit to my blog. Excellent post. Truth is, there's an assortment of types of people living in all kinds of different places for various reasons. Not everyone has a choice where they live, and many people actually like where they live despite what outsiders may think of that place. Where I live is called Blacktown by the Sea and the assumption is based on socio-economics alone. Blacktown is a largely flat western suburban sprawl about a 30-40 minute drive west of the city of Sydney. I live about an 80 minute drive north of the city. My region has mountains, valleys, beaches, rainforests, bushlands, acreages, low and high density suburbs, seaside suburbs, an array of shopping centres, and expansive waterways for boating and fishing activities. Unlike what Blacktown has.

[Gropius]

Love, love LOVE this post. This is a problem in our community as well. But in our community, we ourselves do a great job of skirting the real issues of poverty in our "rich" corner of the world, SW Florida. We're a great spot for tourists, but we have real issues. You don't hear about them often unless you work for a social service agency. We need to put just as much into caring for our people as we do attracting wealthy retirees to move and vacation here.

[Erin]

Having lived in a bunch of different places, I've been faced with these regional stereotypes. They have always cracked me up.

Great spin!!

[Braja]

I never had the view of Martha's Vineyard that the media always tried to push, but it was somewhere in between what they say and what you say. I'm so glad to read this article, for some reason: I love learning about things like this. Excuse my ignorance, but is it the same in the Hamptons? Or Long Island?

[Arwen]

I love hearing about the character of towns. That's very cool.

I don't suppose many people think about Elko, NV long enough to have any misconceptions about it, lol.

[Dreamfarmgirl]

Your island sounds heavenly. What I hate about stereotyping Texas is the notion that everything is dry and flat, with tumbleweeds blowing, and that Texans are all big-mouthed, pig-headed, and have big hair. But that Austin is full of slackers. Texas is a beautiful state with lots of green rolling hills and beautiful clear rivers. We do have some obnoxious Texans and most of our elected officials are real head-scratchers, but Texas has a lot more liberals and independents than people who want to paint a state red or blue would have you think. And Austin is a great place for creatives.

[faemom]

It sounds like a wonderful place to live, if you can stand the winters. I can understand the annoyance that comes with the label of "the Playground of the Rich and Famous." I think there must be theme music when you say it.

I lived in the OC for several years, and I hated how it was portrayed on TV. Sure there were rich places and something we called "The Bubble" as all who lived in it where WASPS of the upper middle class life style. But there were poor areas too. Most of the county is Latino, hard working, scraping to get by in a county that's cost of living is crazy high.

As for where I live now, people, I swear AZ is not a sand desert. We have trees and plants and animals. It's not dead.

[Kimberly]

60% more than mainland Mass? Wow!
I enjoyed this post. It's funny how you say you are not the playground for the rich and famous like say in southern California. That's the one I get all the time. Ohhh, you're from Los Angeles, that's where all the rich and beautiful people are! Yah, not really. Plus right now I think we're the poorest state in the US. :)

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

In San Diego it's that we spend all our time at the beach. It's great to be close to the beach, but not too many of us have the money to live ON the beach.

[Sarah]

I love this. And I love the idea of living in an environment like Martha's Vineyard. Feeling comfortable with the small. Being conscious of nature on a completely different level because you are both nearer to your neighbors, and nearer to the massive, soul-rocking ocean.

[Lora]

I went to the Vineyard once, on the most perfect day you could imagine. The day before a hurricane, sure, but whatever. The locals were amazing. I was surprised to see how "normal" everyone and everything was. My dad was living in Boston at the time, and new the off beaten places to go. I loved it.

I hate when people think that Philadelphia is a big bad dirty place and they assume I'm crazy for raising my child here. Drives me nuts

[Maya]

I lived in Newport RI, now I'm half an hour away. The summers were a bit crazy there, thousands of tourist, then it's nice and quiet during off season. No matter where I'm going to live next, it's got to be a place where people want to spend their holidays..., perhaps that's because I want life to be a vacation, haha!

[Penny]

I would love to visit your island some day - I think I would feel right at home there!

My most hated assumption about the Yukon is that we're part of Alaska, instead of Canada. Next on the list is that we drive dogsleds everywhere we go - but I tend to have more fun with that one. ;o)

[blognut]

I live in Chicago where we are all assumed to be rude. We're not all rude - only the rude ones are rude.

I like the lifestyle you describe on Martha's Vineyard. Maybe I should move. You know... away from all the rude people. :-)

[Jersey Girl]

Being an original Jersey Girl, I know you can relate. We don't say "Joisey," we're not overrun by the Mafia or by "guidos." Most of us are nothing like the "Real" Housewives of NJ. Most people don't realize that the Statue of Liberty is really in NJ and we have 160 miles of coastline and beaches. NJ has more Standard-bred horse farms than any other state, but KY. And it's not the NY Giants; they play and train NJ. I could go on and on. I really believe that NJ has the most misguided image of all 50 states.

[TC]

I was one of the guilty who thought you had to be rich. I'm sorry.
People from the midwest are supposedly hillbillies and @ the best provincial. It may be somewhat true but your lifestyle is somewhat shaped by climate etc. There are geeks here and people who read vogue, wonderful artists and writers.... and then the people who say pneumony fever too.

[PinesLakeRedhead]

OK, I want to come to the Island even more now! But not during season!

In SW Florida we all complain about tourist season. Sure we go out to restaurants less during season and traffic is enough to drive a sane person nuts. But the revenue the area receives is vital to the year-round residents. We live here because we choose to.

As with Soundbounder, I don't sound like I'm from NJ either. No one can ever guess my "accent" because I don't have one!

[Mrsbear]

It sounds like a lovely place to live. Martha's Vineyard always makes me think of the Kennedys.

Off the top of my head, I can't even think of any Miami stereotypes. I'm sure there's a million of them. The one about having some of the worst drivers in the country is true. Although I suppose that was more of a statistic.

It is far too crowded here for my liking.

[Patty]

I grew up in Chicago, and while I agree with blognut about the rudeness stereotype, there is another which bugs me. Many people, especially very sheltered people, believe the entire city is just crawling with gangbangers. I was even asked once when I was in college if I had been in a gang just because I mentioned I grew up in Chicago.

Also, people automatically assume you are from the suburbs, which I am not. I guess they don't understand that the reason Chicago is such a big city is because a lot of people actually live there.

[Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)]

I guess we all are guilty of living somewhere that has a stereotype associated with it. Here in Chicago, I'm sure that people still think it's run by Al Capone and his gang.

Excellent Spin,

[Bumby Scott]

Well, at least people know where you are. I tell them we have a year round place on Dark Harbor... they say you mean Bar Harbor? ...No Dark Harbor..they just say..oh

Always Bumby

[Aidan Donnelley Rowley @ Ivy League Insecurities]

Ah. I am a Manhattanite. Born and bred. Where to begin? I guess I hate the stereotype that we city slickers are materialistic and unfeeling. I have encountered many genuine and giving souls in my beloved hometown.

[kathryn]

Everyone assumes that New Yorkers are rude...and mean....and irritable....and rude.

And we're NOT, dammit.

What people don't realize is that the person who flipped them the bird in Times Square is a tourist from somewhere else!

Grrrrr.

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

Sorry I'm late getting here. I am WAY behind in my reading! Great spin. I think a common misconception of the west, and wide open spaces is that the land has the ability to accommodate numerous animals and do right by them. Not the case. Loved reading about how people where you live work their hineys off to live where they live, because they want to live there. :-)