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March 19, 2010

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I love this...I know all too well those action packed super hero boy games! He sounds like a prize. So glad you got to experience both worlds in parenting.

One of my friends used to say that her sons would make pretend guns out of toast - it didn't matter how much she tried to suppress the boy stuff.

I knew I would have a boy (cos I know stuff). I continue to have no clue how to raise him - though I must say, he's a pretty sensitive guy. Thank goodness.

Everyone has preconceived notions about how they'll raise their kids. Then the children are born and the next thing you know YOU are the mother with the filthy, barefoot, runny-nosed kid having a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store.

Sons have never been my problem - they are quiet, thoughtful, sensitive young men who live in awe (and occasional terror) of their assertive and outspoken mother and sister.

What is it with boys turning everything into guns? We don't even have guns in our house, we don't talk about guns, toys guns were never bought, but my nephew makes everything a gun...

I don't think I could raise a boy.

such a sweet combination for a little boy - action hero mixed with the romantic prince! I'll bet he's still that way today too. You must have done a great job raising your kids to be comfortable with the people that they are.

OH I do hope I can say the same about my boys when they are 22. And that the paths I am leading them down are the right ones. But I trust myself, and I trust them. So...that's all I can do.

But the boy thing, yeah, it's hard to handle at times. Their brains are just.so.different and that is apparent from AGE ONE!

LOL! That picture is priceless!!

I thought I was going to be the hippest grandma and have cookies and sweet old granny kinda things, all in the comfy love of my granny arms. All things sugar and spice.

Huh! More like chasing, playing sports and wrestling boys from ripping each others hair out.
Sometimes I feel like I joined the military! LOL!

My grandsons have challenged my grandparent thinking way more than I would have liked, but wouldn't change it for nothing.

No kids. But I always got a laugh out of parents telling me how their kids were going to turn out :)))))))

That is the greatest photo ever. Have it made into a poster for his 30th birthday party!

Wow! The only difference in my parenting story is that I had my girl first. I laughed out loud at the barbie-doll-turned-gun. My son, also not allowed to have a gun, at his sandwiches into gun shapes and shot his sister. When I took him to the ballet, he shot the ballerinas with his finger and a pkew-pkew sound effect. He also turned out great (at 23) and I like to think we must have helped counter that boy instinct at least a bit.

I remember the first I gave into my son's wishes for a toy gun. We went to Toys 'r Us and we bought a holster and a western style gun. I have one friend who thought it was a complete disgrace to arm boys with fake weapons. She has a daughter. We were driving home from the toy store and we saw this woman walking on the street. My son, excitedly rolled down the window and screamed "Pow Pow, you're dead!"

We do our best!

Oh my word! The last couple of sentences made me guffaw. Out loud.

It was not very ladylike. *ahem*

"He would be enlightened. My personal man-gift to the future and women everywhere.

Then he was born."

BWAAAAHASHAHAHahahahahahaaaa.... Maureen that line made me seriously laugh out loud. My coworkers are asking what is so funny... hehehehehe

I'm sure your son is wonderful. And I am glad that he gets that he has to "Play Nice"... if he ever wants them to play with him again. hehehehe

Great post!

Yes, this is so true and honest and funny! My son's preschool teacher just gave me the "weapons talk" in preparation for things to come. She said at this age, boys need to feel that they are protectors, that they are in control of their fears, so everything becomes a weapon. I'm gonna go with that philosophy. So I'll feel better when he shoots the evil cat with his Barbie. =>

You.Are.Awesome.

So very real. And let's face it, there's so much about the "gender thing" that we hope to control but is, in the end, futile.

I listened to Free to Be, You and Me NON-stop as a kid. Excitedly, I bought the cd for my girls...and they had no interest. Crushed! I just love that record.

I started to write, yeah on average it worked out great. But really how can you apply average to that small group that make up your kids? So as I expect many other would say if they did an honest assessment, I say, ya sorta worked out OK.
Since the perfect parent does not exist, I also know the perfect child does not either. But love can overcome many imperfections.

Maureen I loved this! I am sure that you are still in line for that shoe in position! I never planed on having kids period. Boy, girl..nada. So when my sweet love of my life little boy came, I was just worried I wouldn't ruin him (still working on that btw).

I can tell you now, knowing a 1/2 inch more than when I started out, that I am blessed to have a boy. I wouldn't know what to do with a girl. Crazy right?

"My personal man-gift to the future and women everywhere."
I felt the same way when Fynn was born! That was what I was going to do...
My mother once told me that a little boy can make a toy guy out of ANYTHING, even if they don't know what one is or why they would use it. And dinosaurs... good grief I have dinosaurs coming out of my couch cushions... but I wouldn't have it any other way :)
Loved reading this!

Oh my goodness, I could have taken that photo of either of my goobers.

I wanted a girl both times I was pregnant and each time I got a boy. Now I wouldn't trade them for anything.

i'd like to think i'm enlightened and i'm definitely a man-gift to all woman out there. but that's because of how you raised me! what a good time to start reading your blog...

Great essay here, Maureen! My son was also insane for weaponry (so much for my peacenik tendencies) and loved the opposite sex from a young age (though it'd be fine with me no matter whom he loved). I don't even want to think about why I found a naked Barbie in his room a few years ago. Not for a gun, anyway.

OHMYGOD. I think I'm going to have to bill you for my laptop cleaning...I've spat Cloudy EVERYWHERE. That line about bending Barbie and shooting the cat was freakin' GENIUS! Honey, you are SO. Freakin'. Funny.

Of course, I have nothing BUT boys...so you have my utmost respect and understanding. (HEY, FIRST-BORN SON! Welcome to Blogville!)

My mom always said that "boys are funny". I'd never realized that it was what she didn't say that should have scared me.

I wanted a girl. I got the girl. I now wonder if the boy would have been easier as the girl is manipulative. (Love the girl! Honest!)

I have two sisters. Daughter was first born. son was often an unknown entity for me.

I've never understood the why women insist when on becoming mothers of boys that it become their mission in life to ease the trip for every woman he will ever encounter. When for the Vast majority of women their interactions with men prior to the birth are relatively kind gentle generous and civilised. But on the other hand the mothers contact with fellow women might be likened to feeding time at the Alligator farm. It should surely be better to warn rather than try to tame.

I wanted a girl - and got a girl. And since I was only destined to have one child, I'm glad I got a girl. Even if she loves dinosaurs and bugs and mud. ;)

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. You took the words straight from my brain and presented them here so eloquently. (Would you be my ghost writer?) My first was a girl. I didn't expect anything different. Then, we adopted again and he was a boy. THEN, I found out I was pregnant - with another boy. Two boys, 10 months apart in age - I panicked! Big time! But it has been the most amazing adventure, as you already described. Great post!

It's so interesting how we see ourselves parenting one or the other, before we have children. And I'm guessing we rise to the occasion no matter what.

I wanted boys. A houseful. I got two boys. I had no clue what to do with boys - but I sensed that it would work if I had them. Fingers crossed (and still a ways to go...) but - I've adored parenting boys. Still not sure I'd know what to do with girls, unless they were french girls, maybe.

:)

Loved this post!

I was sure I would have a girl. I was sure I would dress her in dresses and we would play Barbies and have tea parties.

God has a sense of humor. About two weeks before Jonathan was born, everywhere I went I saw boys. Then I dreamed about boys. Boys. Boys. Boys. I wasn't sure what I would do with a boy.

And you're right...if I gave him a Barbie he would bend her in half and shoot the cat. I'm sure of it.

Oh, my goodness. FOUR times, I prepared myself for a boy so I would be ready for a boy but pleasantly surprised by a girl. I was never surprised.

When I was expecting my second, we bought the first boy a Cabbage Patch boy doll. He could NOT have cared less.

I'm convinced some stuff is just programmed in!

I love this post! As the mom of two boys, I admit to wondering what I am missing by not having a daughter. But, like you, I am excited to try to rear boys that are sensitive and gentle - my own "personal man-gifts" to the universe!

Clearly, you and Stacia were on the same wavelength yesterday!

Handsome kid. I had my girls first, and I can honestly say the boys are completely different animals. And my youngest, about as action/adventure rough & tumble, completely fearless as I ever could've imagined. He's been singing the Indiana Jones theme song for three weeks every day, all day, it's his life's soundtrack. He picked up a toy drill the other day only to make lazer shooting sounds with it. So much fun, but so different.

WOW...he looks so much like you! You have obviously done SOMETHING right!

I only have girls but they would give any male a run for their money on the eating, belching, farting department. In fact, #3's boyfriend got mad at her because she farted in front of him and then said "Man, I gotta go poop." He said it wasn't lady like for girls to talk like that and that he didn't think girls pooped! LOL I told him, "No, usually girls don't EVER poop... they just hold it in and then when they're two they just EXPLODE!" WTH was he THINKING???

BTW... I have an award for you on my blog either later tonight or in the morning! :-)

My kids were never going to watch tv all day, scream, fight, sass me, or throw up on the carpet. I was never going to yell, spank, or ignore them to do things for myself. I could go on and on and on and....,

PS I just knew that my second pregnancy was going to result in a girl. (I'm not right very often.)

yes and not so much.

Oh, of course! I could never imagine what I'd do with two boys. Now I can't imagine anything better.

I had no preconceived notions about my first two sons, born in 1987 and 1989. But, when my daughter was born, a different century later in 2007, I had visions of hippy-happy matured mother will cope beautifully bliss that went sour from the moment she inexplicably started screaming and we couldn't figure out the hell why? It went on for months and now at three she really is an angel (if a bossy one occasionally). There was actually more bliss with my sons, they were my angel babies - because they did not scream and were much easier to manage. Still, I'm ecstatic having my daughter, she has brought much joy to our lives and those dark days are well behind us.

I wanted a girl so I could put ribbons in her hair.

I believe, we will find our sons compassionate and thoughtful of us more than we imagined or expected of them.

I always wanted a boy. I recently have been wishing that if/when the next one comes, that it's a girl.

My only hope is that The King grows up to be just what you said, compassionate, sensitive (not too much) and respectful. My husband sets a wonderful example. For that I am extremely lucky.

I had hoped for one of each, with no pre-conceived idea of what to do with either. Now that I've got two boys, though? Bring on the trucks and dinosaurs. I'm not sure I won't miss pig tails and prom dresses, though.

Like Jan and Erin, I hope by living with me and PB they get some sense of how to treat women, and people in general.

I'm the opposite of you, I never wanted a girl. I'm a big fat tomboy and don't know the thing about Barbie or princesses so I was scared when we found out Elliot was a girl. And then I instantly loved that kid. She is the most adorable little (tomboy, so far) girl I've ever met. Phew.

I've always wanted a boy to play toy trucks with and teach to play ball and hang out doing manly things. I have two girls instead. what can i do? I love my girls to death. But i'd still like to have a boy.

Excellent post. Pretty hilarious as well. Thanks for sharing anyway.

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