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April 30, 2010


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Well, my mom was a homemaker and I didn't even know my dad's work number! We're not allowed to use our phones at work (although everyone does, with texting). My kid usually text me, but every now and then one of my kids will call my cell. I don't answer. I usually text back that I'm working an to send me a text. My son knows to call the restaurant if he really needs to speak to me.

That text would have put the FEAR OF GOD into me too! And I would have hung up on the respective off-spring.

I think cell phones and texting have reduced communications to much less informal state than when we were kids. I NEVER would have call my father at work unless it was an emergency. Now my kids text me from lunch to find out how my day is going or to tell me they got a good grade on a test. However, I get irrate when they call me at work to ask me to stop at the store when their father is working from home that day.

My kids call me all the time at the most inappropriate times, and then when I either try to call them back or try to track them down...guess what? They don't answer ARGGHHH!! I think the issue is that our kids think that everything thing is an emergency when it comes to them whether it be to transfer money so they can go to concert they really, really want to go to or just to chat. And that as their mother YOU SHOULD BE AVAILABLE 24/7. Yes, you have allowed your children to feel like it's okay to access you all the time, but in some ways what a gift you've given them to know you'll always be there.

I don't ever remember calling my parents from school. Ever.

It's a different world now. Our kids are closer to us then we were to our parents. Security means different things now.

These boundary issues are mind boggling... (and yes, my son calls me at work sometimes.)I worry about how entitled he gets.

My kids IM me at work - they know I'm in front of a computer all day, and that is the least intrusive way to get hold of me if they need me. The would only call my cell phone in case of an extreme emergency.

My oldest step-daughter, on the other hand, has no sense of time as far as her father and I are concerned, and calls at all hours of the day and night (and then gets irritated that we don't answer our phones). Spoiled just a little by her Daddy? Oh, yeah.

I was only allowed to call my mom if it was a real emergency...which I had a flat tire once and she went a coworker to change it for me! However, I work from home so my kids can call at any time...which of course, they do.

My Mom was the only person who worked in her office (she was the book keeper for an electrician) so I could call whenever I wanted. I remember calling when I got home from school, or if I needed permission to do something. My Dad worked right up the street from my HS, so I was more likely to just go up and see him rather than call. I will admit that I did go there pretty regularly. He sold cars, so as long as he wasn't with a customer it was ok.

I think it's more the tone of that text that would concern me. Who the hell makes buying tickets sound like an "imperative" operation?

Oh, I am glad you are back. I have missed your posts each morning.
I remember I called my mother at work only once, when there was a crisis. She was a patient representative in a busy Washington DC emergency room. I was amazed at how calm and competent she sounded..I will never forget it. Most of my life she was needy and frightened and on the verge of hysteria with me, but evidently she was a completely different person at the hospital. I am still amazed by the memory of that one conversation.
That being said, my siblings seem to think work is the place I go to wait to hear from them about their squabbles and personal hysterics..And once, when I was working at the library, with a long line of patrons, my husband called and asked me to speak to our cockatiel who had been screaming all morning. "Maybe hearing your voice will calm him" he said.
Can you imagine? Standing at the circulation desk, and saying "Now Sparky, be good and Stop screaming or he will flush you down the toilet..."

I could call my mom when she was at work, but I had to be sure that it was a hardcore emergency. There was a little Fear of God/Mom thing going on in that respect!

This week, my oldest went to the school nurse with a headache, and I didn't find out about it until later that night when my husband told me the nurse called him on his cell. Clearly, the kid has learned that I either (a) never hear my phone ring (b) am not wearing pants with pockets to carry my cell in them. What slays me is that, when they haven't been able to reach me, they will call my mom! Clearly, mom/God has definitely morphed into the pushover Grandma!

I used to go to work with my mother...I went to nursing school with her too. So, calling her was never an issue. I think the word "imperative" was the real problem. I would have freaked out as well.

Do your kids realize how cool you are to have your cellphone in your cowboy boots?

My mom expected a call when I got home from school so she'd know I made it safely. That's it. Once I called her because there was a cockroach in our kitchen. It was dead, but still ... a cockroach! She still loves to make fun of me for that story.

That's the problem with all our communication devices now. Once upon a time, it was such an effort and expense to contact someone that it really only would have been for an emergency. I am so grateful we didn't have all this when I was in college--I wouldn't have taken advantage of it, but my mother had trouble letting go. She would have hounded me daily--who am I kidding, hourly.

My Mom used to limit how many times we could call her at work. If we called when it wasn't important, it counted as two calls.

I wouldn't be so upset with the text as the use of the word "imperative." She WANTED to talk to you, she did not NEED to talk to you. Big difference and one that we need to teach our kids.

My mom was always home but I could call my dad anytime. His secretary would let me know if he was available.

These days, The King and the hubby call me whenever they want. Either at my office or on my cell. If I can't talk, I don't answer. In fact The King calls me everday after nap to make sure I'm coming home soon. It's really cute.

I agree with you and someday if she becomes a mother she'll understand. But communicating has change a lot since I was that age. I don't think a text is that bad of an interruption but to expect it to be answered immediately - well hopefully she'll learn some work ethic before it's too late.
Also, the "cried wolf" story comes to mind.
Does your daughter know about the OFF button on the phone?

Haha! THE FEAR OF GOD... love it! That's what I had when I was a kid and even CONTEMPLATED calling my mom at work. I would have rather bled to death, to be honest...

These days, my mom will call me at work sometimes and I will call her at work sometimes. We always say "can you talk now?" and if the answer is no it's no biggie. But both of us have jobs that allow us to chat sometimes so it's ok.

Surely it's not the matter of the text/call but the mismatch of the contents with the context. So, to put it in plain English, a dozen eggs hitting the floor is annoying not a catastrophe. Altogether, if I may suggest your error was in not sending her to a school that educated about the connection between the word and the concept.
Remedial action might include a box set of Fr Ted or any of the Monty Python films. :-)

One time D-Man called me 4 times in a 30 minute period. Work phone, then cell phone, then work phone, etc. I was in an important meeting but because I could hear the damn phone continue to ring, I left to see what was going on. When I saw the number, I KNEW I was going to faint from how the world changed. And when I got in touch, here was the scoop: "Um, Austin wants to know if I can ride my bike down to the church."


A concert is VERY important in college : )
I love that she said imperative. I mean, you have to give her extra bonus points for that.
My Daddy has a pager at work and we were always allowed to call it. I still call him today. I like to feel connected to him! Now, my husband? I NEVER call him at work. One time we were buying a house and the mortgage man needed something {right this instant!} so I called my husband. He about had a heart attack... I am not allowed to disturb him.
Darn it!
So nice to visit you today : )

I almost never called my parents when I was in college. Too expensive for intra-state calls. (Remember that?) I wrote letters. Occasionally.

I am impressed, however, that your daughter does not appear to have a credit card.

You handled it beautifully. She probably won't do that again.

Maureen, how you imitated her speech pattern is so funny! I'm always trying to get my daughter not to talk with that weird little Valley Girl-ish lilt and there you wrote it down perfectly!

The very idea of ever calling my dad for ANYTHING in the world (maybe if the house burned down) was inconceivable. After he died my mom went into real estate and it was well known among us that if we were talking to her and she got a call we were instantly off the line and the real estate client was on!

I would have been flipping out as well. Yeah, you gotta just law down the law. At your daughter's age,the thought of missing a show is like, you know, like HORRIBLE.

That would have scared me to death.
On the other hand, I'm not sure this is a sign you've done anything wrong. Maybe it's just a sign your kids know you are approachable and always there for them:)

I leave my phone in my office and check it at recess and lunch. My son has boundary issues and it can range from a near emergency to the mundane. Of course, he thinks for all of the above he can call whenever.

I leave it in the office as knowing he called makes my heart race with worry, and it is not like I can call him right back while I am teaching a roomful of teenagers.

I was NEVER to disturb my parents at work, either. And my mother is horrified if I (or my kids) call my husband at work when she is around to witness this horrible crime. My kids aren't too bad about calling me during the day because they don't have cell phones yet. I'm sure my day is coming.

My mom stayed at home so that wasn't an issue...but we never called Dad since he was on the road driving truck most of the time. And if my kid called me at work ... or txted like that with the goal of getting tickets? Oh, please heads would roll~!

My kids know no boundaries where work and phone calling is concerned. I guess neither do I since the influx and convenience (or should I say INconvenience in this case) of cell phones. When the mood strikes a call occurs. I think people just do not think about it anymore. Personally (and I'm probably wrong on this) I feel like if the person is busy or can't talk they won't answer and if it's important a message will be left, but... I DO think her texting you when she knew you were at work that it was IMPERATIVE was a little selfish. Sounds like something my #3 would do. But, in HER defense... it WAS imperative for HER. Had she waited she might miss out on cool concert tickets and what a tragedy would THAT be? LOL

I have a pretty relaxed atmosphere at work so my kids feel free to call me for trivial things but know it's not the time for a long conversation. Just the facts, ma'am, just the facts.

Had to laugh at the "imperative" tickets. It's all about perspective and that is what is IMPERATIVE to them. Mine have given me similar bouts of THE FEAR OF GOD.

As soon as I saw what she texted, my heart flipped. For me those words mean something serious is wrong. I would definately be having a talk with her about scaring the bajebbers out of ya!
Growing up..I think only the school was ever allowed to call my parents durning the middle of the day, but most of the time we didn't have a phone.
Right now hubby has had to lay down the law with our eldest grandson. No calling him at work!

Bitchy does the SAME THING TO ME!! IN the middle of teaching.


I fear the day they call me asking for money for some concert. I guess it is inevitable. I am not sure.

She's young and in her head, she's #1.. that's why! I guess a text would have been fine. I still don't bother my mom at work and I'm 33. Ha. I got in big trouble when I was younger for calling her there so now I avoid it....

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