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April 07, 2010


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That taught him to make assumptions. I like the fact that we get to know our blog buddies by writing first. It gives all of us an equal playing field.

Lol. Nice. I like that the bloggy world is a sort of equalizer.

Here's my judging by appearances confession: I realized recently that when I meet a child wearing glasses I assume he is smart. Isn't that funny?

Love this story. And I think you make an excellent point about the "appearance judgment" often reflecting more about the one who makes it (their assumptions) than - necessarily - the one being judged.

That's funny! I'd love to have seen the expression on his face.

I usually get the dumb blonde assumption. Or, like you (because I'm shy) the snob.

Great Spin! Sometimes it's fun to see people fumble when they realize that their assumptions are wrong.

I used to get the shy & quiet = snob assumption a lot too. Then there's the whole redhead thing...

Then there's the twist. When you THINK people have a particular assumption about you, but they really don't. I always thought a particular person thought I was backwards and awkward, when really they thought I was strong and held to what I believed was right. I have to wonder if we make assumptions to validate ourselves, in an odd way. When I was in college, if a guy I really liked but who wasn't interested in me dated a really good looking girl, I could always tell myself that he was dating her based strictly on her looks. That way I could feel good about my brain. LOL

Love your spin. Funny how different assumptions are made by voice rather than appearance.And in the blog would, we are judged by our thoughts and words which is a new experience for me which is kind of cool.

Have dealt with this all my life. Look preppy, don't feel like that in the slightest. But I talk so much usually the first impression is controverted pretty quickly:).

I LOVE the whole blogging thing because yes - people get to *know* you before they see you. And I tend to make a much better virtual first impression than I do a personal one. I write well (no false modesty here - I just do) and no one *sees* the short, dumpy, middle-aged woman or hears the Texas twang. In fact, I like to imagine that my cyber friends imagine me as tall, cool, sophisticated and well-educated.

And they probably imagine me as a short, dumpy, middle-aged woman with a bad Texas twang, but I'm allowed my fantasies.

wow, what an amazing story. I wonder if you felt like you had total control of that situation or if you were a wee bit nervous?

I work in a small slice of the industry that I call the "Land of Beautiful Women." I never knew that when I started out, but it is true. And it is a little unnerving and intimidating at times. And one of side effects that I perhaps would not have paid much attention to when i worked in another industry, is that I really do notice what other people look like - what shoes they wear, how they accesorize their outfits, etc. Is that shallow? I am not completely sure that this ventures into the territory of being judgmental, but it certainly is in the realm of being hyper observant.

Hee hee, I love that story! Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the lab coat came billowing behind him ready to take on the nasty nurse in charge and he gets... you. AWESOME!
You're linked!
(And you're right. Nurses DO run the hospitals!)

Great story! I'm afraid my business is all about how you look. It's probably one of the reasons I so enjoy the blogging world.

I love this post! I too have reddish hair and some freckles and I think I give off the aura of being innocent as well. That has actually mostly worked to my advantage, like when I worked in a law firm and the partners didn't swear at me (as they did some of the other clerks). Kind of nice.

And I agree that it is nice in the blogosphere that people aren't judged on looks--grammar and spelling, maybe, but I have always been stronger in those categories than in the looks department!

I love the fact that on our blogs we're judged by things we actually put forth, our opinions and our thoughts, rather than our looks (not that I'm not stunning or anything).

You gave me an idea for my Spin this week. LG met a little boy with a hearing aid this weekend. It was his first time with anyone who had a "visible" special need.

A pregnant Pollyanna in a Peter Pan collar, I love that image. I wonder if it would have gone differently had that first interaction been in person instead of on the phone. Would he have deferred sooner or pushed harder based on your appearance? Making judgments based on looks is such a complicated, never-ending subject, isn't it?

This is fantabulous, Maureen. I've been thinking a lot a lot a lot about appearances and judgment and acceptance. It's all so hard. It's this unending struggle within all of us, I think. I love that you have this reminder of this one, specific time you were judged in some way.

I wonder, what were your impressions of him before and after meeting him? Was he still a jerk afterward?

I love this post! And like you, I tend to be very shy when first meeting people and have heard that people mistook the shyness for snobbishness. :) Add to that the whole blonde hair and freckles, and well....

I LOVE that you stood your ground with the first year resident (and yes, nurses do indeed rule the hospital!) and he sort of had the wind zapped from his sails when he met you in person. ;)

I've been taken for a snob once or twice for that same reason...
Loved your story, I can only imagine what was going through his head! Sometimes I wish I could carry the pregnant belly around for just that occasion (but then I remember... and am glad it's not a permanent option...)

I love your confidence. I noticed it the first time I stopped by here. This post was great. Always bark louder than you bite!

I do love it that our judgements of blog friends are not so based on anything but the writing and design--a nice way to be in 100% control of our role in perception. Being judged as a snob is a true insult--it's happened to me a couple of times undeservingly and I hate it. Shame on the judgers! And shame on us for judging. But you're sooo right, a part of it is just human nature and hard to stop entirely.

Well told. We should all make LESS assumptions and just get on being nice to each other :-)


A friend of mine and I call it the "shy/bitch" syndrome. She's not a bitch... she's just shy and pretty.

You know, now that I think about it I don't think anyone has ever thought I look the least bit innocent ...

Like he was expecting Nurse Ratched and instead got the sweetest (and I bet adorable)pregnant gal. Too funny!

It is a shame that we all make judgements. I can't even imagine what people think of me when they see me.

I do not claim total innocence but I do try to get to know people and not treat them based upon what they look like. If I treat people with respect I usually get respect back.

I do like the saying that we bloggy people don't judge on our appearances. But it does beg the question of if some of these people are being true to themselves and showing their true selves, or if they are creating a character.

Excellent Spin,

I really enjoyed this Maureen! I loved how he had to eat that humble pie in the end. His mouth was too full to speak. :-)

I always got the stuck up tag, but I was shy too. I agree that it's probably more about the person that makes that judgment rather than what's really true.

Growing up I was told, red hair and freckles, equals a firecracker temper. So never make red haired lady mad! Lol.

Great post! Not that this is the point of the post, but...isn't it amazing how much you can accomplish on the phone? I have been told that I interview much better on the phone than in person. Of course, the person telling me this was meeting with me in person, and I didn't get the job. So.

BUT. When you don't have to worry about apperances, it can be so freeing.

My Mother is a retired ER RN and my husband is an ER Doc. I can relate to this story. My husband comes home all the time with stories of the doctor on call screaming at him on the phone...his comment, "anyone can pick a fight with Ali over the the phone...why don't you come to the ER and we can talk about it like face to face."

Wicked Good post, You Pollyanna,You.

Always Bumby

ppl think I'm invulnerable. I can take anything. So so not true. I walk tall but I carry a big bottle of anti depressants

I'm loving this story, sweetie!

How. Dare. He.

So, the belligerent windbag had to choke back his rant when he saw your sweet, smiling face? You're probably one of the few people who could leave him speechless....I've no doubt of that. Oh, he had so much to learn...

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!

I am so glad to be back. Thank you for your concern! I imagine you to be so very sophisticated! I love knowing only your words but somehow I think one day we will meet.

It is great fun to leave someone speechless. Go girl!

Missed you

good story
You are a smart woman for sticking to the right decision.
I didn't know you were (still are?) a nurse. I don't recall you writing about it before.

I LOVE IT!!! He was expecting Nurse Ratchet!!!

Loved this spin. I had a client for years that I talked to regularly by phone but had never met. I had always pictured her in my mind a this tiny darkhaired Italian with dark eyes. I have NO idea why I pictured her this way. When I eventually met her imagine my surprise when in walks this tall redhead with blue eyes! Still visualized her as I previously did every time I talked to her though. WEIRD...

I had a parent-teacher conference (I'm the teacher) once where I, after having continuous problems with this student, introduced myself as "Mrs. So-and-So, otherwise known as 'Satan.'" Luckily, the parents laughed and things worked out remarkably well :)

Haa! I love how you disarmed him! Sounds like he deserved it!

You know, now that I think about it I don't think anyone has ever thought I look the least bit innocent ...

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