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May 05, 2010

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Isn't it interesting that the same affliction hit you as well as your mother. What about your sister. Did she suffer from the same kind of depression when Mother's Day came around? Glad it seems to have passed though. Happy Mother's Day!

My MIL gets mopey at Mass on Mother's Day because she misses her own mother. My mother is fiercely independent and doesn't want anyone doing anything for her but get her nose out of joint if we don't try. As for myself, I don't get to do what I want because we're trying to make our mothers happy. No, I'm not bitter.

I forgot about the Mother's Day plant sales. I hope you get something pretty! Happy Mother's Day!

I don't necessarily have the best of times on Mother's Day myself - I think part of it is the realization that the only reason everyone is being so nice to me is because they feel they HAVE to. Be nice to me on a day that isn't dictated by someone else.

That being said, this year Mother's Day ought to be GREAT - Jolly has to work and we're spending the day with the G Man at the Cincinnati Zoo. Now, THAT'S my idea of Mother's Day! :)

Might be you thought the day was not yours but your mothers.

Might be just the remembered stress of not knowing why you couldn't make your Mom happy. And your subconscious thought you needed to repeat that? Eh, who knows. Just glad you're over it and can enjoy the day with your kids. Glad that the ex helped out.

I'll give my mother that, she was happy with whatever happened on Mother's Day.

There does seem to be too much pressure to do this or that on Mother's Day. It can get overwhelming. Same thing on Father's Day. I'm all for everyday being special.

I must have not put a lot of pressure on my kids about Mother's day because since they moved out they forget all about it but then they also forget my birthday. I can't decide if this is working for me or not.

I've got my own pressures this Mother's Day which I'll go into on Friday, but I'm not quite sure why the storm clouds of doom and gloom permiated. The Mother's Day of my own childhood was typically happy with us doing whatever Mom wanted to do that day, whether a quiet day at home, a Star Wars movie marathon (Yeah, she was cool.), or a day out to wherever she wanted to go.
I'm glad you're breaking that cycle though.
You're linked!

Thank goodness for plants, right?? The more low-key the celebration, the more I enjoy Mother's Day. And Daddy taking the kiddos out for a few hours? Sounds lovely.

OK! What's up with this Mother's Day thing. I hate it too! And I don't have a history or cycle of Mother's Day depression.

I feel this pressure for the day to be splendid. SPLENDID. The day just can't be. It must be SPLENDID for dear, lovely mother. Bull crap.

It feels so fake. Hallmark stamped it and gave us another day.

And if anybody tries to give me breakfast in bed....BEWARE.

I'm glad your over it.

Around our house the tradition was simple. Moms birthday is the 22nd of the month, thus we have always been able to wrap the the two events together with a show at a local Dinner Theater. She receives the adoration of a job well done(having survived another year with our family and doing so with class and grace and the recognition that she is still the sexiest Dame around)and the adulation of having been born.
Happy Mothers Day
And to the Question of Whats in Fridg..Pigs in a blanket and caviar and of course Perrier.

Always Bumby

I like the idea of giving Moms a day off on Mother's Day. I like it a lot more than brunch.

Although I'm not generally a big holiday person, I have appreciated Mother's Day more since becoming a mom myself. This year, though, my husband's father and stepmother are descending on us for the weekend, so instead of a low-key day, I will be cooking for guests. What fun! ;)

Happy Mother's Day to you, Maureen!

That is so strange that your mom hated the day so much. I wonder why? These days it's stressful for us because we'd rather spend the day home with the kids but instead are expected to jump through hoops for my mom. Still.

The perfect post for me to see today. As a child, I dreaded Mother's Day as well - for very similar reasons. I vowed not to put my children through the same - because, as you said, some cycles are meant to be broken. Bravo!

Huh. Why? I wonder why?

My mother was also a difficult-to-please Mother's Day participant. I probably shouldn't spin about that. (ha).
I don't particularly love Mother's Day... but I think it's because of the single mom thing. I could spin that right up. :-)
I'm glad you broke the cycle.

I think giving mom time off is always a good way to go. I'd ask for a day at a spa getting a massage, but I know hubs nor the kids have the money. So, the beach will be nice.

I wonder if it's just one of those thing where as moms we feel obligated to put on a happy face. I felt horrible last year telling my husband that all I really wanted for Mother's Day was to absolutely nothing with no one around. I felt I needed a meditative day just for me to lounge around (unheard of) and read without being interrupted. While this upset my kids for a minute, they seemed to be okay by the time we went to dinner. I was happy and that's all that mattered on MY DAY!

the only thing i've ever liked about mother's day was getting play doh jewelry made by my kids. the rest? phooey

many family cycles were made to be broken! Well done and Happy Mother's day this week!

Mother's Day is not my favorite holiday. This year I'm leaving on Friday and driving up the coast. I'll return Monday afternoon. It is one of my favorite things to do ... to just hang out by the beach with my camera. Briefcase will be on kid-duty at home. I can't wait.

Good for you for breaking the cycle. Kudos to your ex for doing what he flet you needed on Mother's Day. I enjoyed your spin.

I wonder why she got so upset...how sad for all of you. I'm glad that it's a tradition you decided not to perpetuate! Happy Mother's Day!

I think your ex had a great idea- to remove the kids from your *hair* and let you have the day. Not having any kids of my own yet, I can't say how I'll be celebrating mother's day. My mother was always just content to wear a pretty corsage to church and have seafood for lunch. Other than that it was never a really big deal. I hope I don't forget to wish her a happy mother's day this year!

For a variety of reasons, we don't even celebrate Mothers' and Fathers' Days in our house. Other than calling our parents (no cards, gifts, etc.), we don't do anything special on those days.

I absolutely love your style of writing. You are so brutally honest and it is completely inspiring. You don't sugar coat it. I think Mother's Day is a great day to honor our mothers and we do celebrate it (except for Hubby's mom because, well, she's crazy and a witch and Hubby won't talk to her). I feel awful that you used to feel so gloomy about a day that is meant to be pleasant and nice. I wonder why your mom felt that way. Did she lose her mother or something?

What a great post. I can actually see why some women are gloomy on this day, even if they don't have infertility problems or didn't have terrible moms. I think sometimes it is such a hard day to live up to. You sort of want to be treated like a queen this one day of the year, so I know I am sometimes disappointed when the kids start fighting or being normal demanding kids. My husband always tries to make the day special, but I wonder if he shouldn't do what your ex did and take the kids away. A nice break would be a great gift!

This is an insightful and thought-provoking post. Perhaps the expectations - on Mother's Day or any other holiday - sometimes become overwhelming. It's a shame that we need to construct any sort of expectations that might set ourselves up to be disappointed.

It's bound to happen; the world is "the world." But I like the approach you talk about here, and the fact that your ex gave you that time and space. Sometimes that's the ideal gift.

Glad you're able to enjoy them again and that you're working on breaking the cycle. You know I hate the perception that we have to be happy all of the time, some down time is healthy and I emphasize the "some" part. lol Hope you and your family have a wonderful Mother's Day this year!

Oh, I feel ambivalent about Mother's Day at best. We actually really play it down because it seems... Oh, I don't know. I don't really like to be in the spotlight - plus, shouldn't it be Mother's Day EVERY day?? ;)

xoox,
-maria

Maybe my hubby's mom was related to your mom... ;)

Glad you broke the cycle - you deserve to be pampered as the awesome mother that you are! ;)

Happy Mother's Day! :)

This is so interesting. I hate mother's day, but it wasn't from my mom. I started hating it when I was younger because it meant I had to do what my mom wanted for a day, which I didn't want to do at all. Now I will have to make sure I don't continue this for Finn. I may take you up on your plan, I don't want to ruin for them.

My high school best friend's mother was like that but it was because she had lost a son in infantcy. Seems to me something had to have triggered it if not with your mother than with someone else down the line.

So glad you broke the cycle!

I myself have never been greatly fond of Mother's day. Maybe that would have been different if I had been able to have a child.

Mom before Dad.That's what I lrneat.If there are people in the world one should devote their love to would be:-1. Mom2. Mom3. Mom4. DadIn that order. Happy Belated Mother's Day MOM!

My mother saeicficrd a lot financially over the years to provide me with an excellent education in private/parochial schools all the way through college. Now that I have kids of my own, my mom is always willing to help watch them when I need help, which helps us save money on babysitters. She loves to do projects with the boys and lets them do stuff (like play in mud or get soaking wet or clean the mirrors) that I don't like them to do because of the clean-up job I have to do afterwards, and the boys just love it. I'm glad she lets them have those experiences. My mom is awesome!

I love my mom, Lisa, so much! As I've grown she has become one of my best frenids. Even though I am grown and on my own now, she takes care of me and worries about me as if I were still a little girl. She is deserving of so much more than I could ever give her and words cannot express my gratitude for all the support and love she has shown me over the years! I am so very blessed to be her daughter! Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing moms out there!

My grandsons and ggadnaurther are to old they think to dye easter eggs and then go hunt them. So I go to their homes early in the morning of Easter and sneak them into their yards. I even hide an easter basket here and there.They won't admit it but I know they love it. And it also makes me happy to do it. One sneaky Grandma in Kennewick

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