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June 24, 2010


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Ugh. Again, SO sorry about Checkers. I'm glad you guys have a good relationship. Too many kids get stuck in the middle between the feuding and that's just not cool. Seems like a pretty great ex to have. I guess there is such a thing!

That is a cool Dad. Happy belated Father's Day.

This story is so beautiful, and for everyone to be there was awesome.

I think it's wonderful that you guys remained a family even if you weren't a couple. Too many Moms forget that just because they choose to end the marriage, their kids still have a relationship.

Props to you and The Ex.

Sorry to hear about the kitty, though.

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved family pet is always hard, but, it made for such a sweet (bittersweet) story. YOu guys are amazing and very fortunate to have that type of bond after being divorced for so many years. At least you can still be a family.

I think you hit the nail on the head. The family part is what's most important about your situation. You made the best of a hard situation for sure.

So sorry about your loss. It's so hard.

Oh, you were right about Checkers, weren't you? I am glad, though, that you had someone else there to help with the machinations. ((you))

So sorry about Checkers.

I like this story and wish it were the norm. We do things this way too. It's way easier to be friendly than to put energy into hostility.

I see the fallout from so many hostile divorce situations and it's never good for the kid.

You guys are awesome.

I am so impressed with you and The Ex. What mature, gracious, loving adults to put your kids first like that. I think that's rare.

I'm sorry to hear about Checkers.

I did the same thing with my ex. I always have people say, "Wow. You guys are amazing!" But wouldn't it be nice if everyone would put the family (like you and I did) before their own personal vendetta's? I'm sure the world would be a better place....


Sounds like you did pick an amazing father, even if he wasn't an amazing husband.
Sorry about Checkers. But, wow, full circle.
You're linked!

Ah, I was wondering about Checkers.

And good for you AND your Ex for doing the right thing for your kids. I wish, wish, wish I could say the same about my ex.

The marriage may not have been built to last, but the family, apparently, was.

Beautiful you two! Really. The last line had me in tears. I hate the term broken family. This shows a strength running through you guys that is bigger than marriage could ever be--Unselfish love for those you brought into your world.

Good for you....keeping things civil and adult for the kids.... it seems to have kept it civil for you and the ex too..... how great is that for everybody concerned in the end? .... again... good for you Maureen...

I'm glad little Checkers is, and will be .... fondly, and well remembered .. he is part of this family too..... it sounds like a perfect Father's Day to me.....

We hid a pregnant female cat in our basement for a week after she showed up on our doorstep... unbeknownst to my Dad... because we weren't allowed to have one... Then... when she gave birth... and he found us all squeaking and giggling down there.... well, of course, he was not a happy camper. We cried, begged and pleaded... and he agreed to let us keep the Mom...but, we had to find homes for all 5 kittens. We kids struggled with it for months of course...interviewing possible families to adopt our babies... after all, we couldn't let just anybody have them! Finally... we adopted out 4 ...but, nobody wanted the fluffiest of we somehow got the old man to say okay to keeping her too. Tippy and Fluffy lived with us for 21 years.... my little brother never really knew any years without our two cats....

Maureen, you and The Ex seem to be the exception to the rule. And yeah for you! Your marriage partnership may not have worked out but your parenting partnership certainly did.

I'm sorry about Checkers. How's LuLu holding up?

Good for you. Good for your kids.

This is really lovely, Maureen. It is to both of your credit that you've managed to keep your relationship amicable after your divorce. Husband's parents haven't spoken since their divorce and their choice casts a very long shadow over the lives of their children.

And I am very sorry about Checkers. xo

I love the last line about a "family made to last"...What loving grace and dignity you model for your kids. I wish that sort of selflessness and maturity was not so rare.

nice story. It's good to read about divorced parents who care and respect their kids enough to not use them as weapons against each other.

So maybe along with Checkers you buried the hatchet too.

You are very, very fortunate in your situation.

As one for whom the other shoe has dropped for 9 years (and no end in sight), I'll just say - would that more fathers viewed the family as first priority - divorced or not. You and your ex are both a fine example to your children.

This relationship and story is lovely. It is wonderful that you can remain a family after divorce. I love it when people step up to the plate and put their children first and it turns out good for everyone. You are a rare and beautiful blossom, Maureen. And apparently, so is your ex.

you are very lucky in that respect. Until my ex MIL dies I don't there is a chance in hell. I find it hard to be around him as he has been very cheap and lying and lazy and I can't be around him, which is why I left him in the first place.

That is so sad but so wonderful all at the same time. You are good people.

Sorry about your cat. Time passes. It's all so strange.

Again I'm so sorry about Checkers.

That sure is the epitome of a 'full circle', isn't it? I love that you and The Ex managed to become friends over the years, I'm sure it made it easier on the kids. You're right - family really is built to last. You, my friend, are living proof of that! :) ((HUGZ!!))

Oh, Maureen. I am so sorry to hear about Checkers.


I am glad that you have your family to lean on. Losing a loved one is so hard!

I'm sorry to hear about Checkers, it's always hard to lose pets, as they are important part of our families. I can't imagine how difficult it is to maintain a good relationship with your ex but as a teacher I know what a difference it makes for kids. I've seen such nasty relationships that they schedule separate conferences and it is unimaginably hard for the kids. At the end of the year I had 2 mothers who were secretly leaving their husbands and their kids had no idea. Sometimes I wonder how these people liked each other enough to make a child together.

Great points all Maureen. Checkers was a lucky cat and you all have a gift that will last forever!Family is the name of the game otherwise we are all just specks in the universe.

I am so sorry about Checkers Maureen, but this is a very cool story. The part about you and the Ex keeping it civil and friendly and the full circle that can come about.

I think that's amazing, not just that you maintained civility but that you know you can depend on him, as a dad to your kids and a friend. Honestly, my childhood would've been very different if my parents had anything near that type of amicability. S'okay, my dysfunctional past gives me character. ;)

Sorry about Checkers though. Never easy to say goodbye to a family member.

I am so impressed, amazed, envious - no, none of these words seem appropriate. I am honestly in awe of your relationship with your Ex. I so wish I could have that with mine. And when you said, "The marriage may not have been built to last, but the family, apparently, was."? Beyond awesome! You are my hero, Maureen! (And I'm so sorry about Checkers. Hugs to you all!)

What a beautiful, well-written post.
I am so sorry for your family's loss. A pet is truly such an important part of a family. And it does sounds like you have a great family.

Love your closing line. Above all, I have always tried to remember that my children's relationship with their father, and his with them, is far more important than any pain he and I caused each other. Luckily for me he has done the same, and our children definitely were the winners. (But I was too.) I'm sorry for the loss of your cat -- that can be so hard.

I love stories like this. When I got divorced, I too was prepared for the worst. And while there have been plenty of hard times (kind of like being married...hmmm) we've managed to be friends and keep our eyes on the prize which is co-parenting healthy girls. Thanks for your story!

I think your relationship with the Ex is to be admired. Very few are willing to be that nice to the Ex's. Myself included.

A fitting end for Checkers to have the whole family from beginning to end.

Sorry about your cat! But, wow, I am so impressed with you guys managing to keep things civil. That is amazing and I am sure this will only be good for your kids. My parents split a couple of years ago and I would give almost anything for them to be able to be marginally civil towards each other. Even though I am an adult, it still totally sucks to have to witness my parents hating each other.

Maureen, sorry I'm so late to this lovely post. We're on vacation and my head's flown out the window.

That's quite a hump you traversed when you first got divorced, because you already knew what kind of marriage you had, but how could you know what kind of divorce you'd have?

Talk about a silver lining. This is sad and beautiful at the same time.

I'm sorry about your cat.

This is very heartening. So many people handle divorce SO poorly. It's wonderful to hear of people who can put their egos aside, and the children first. Good for you (and the Ex) Maureen.

And so sorry about Chester!

Kudos to you and your Ex really. Not many could boast such a wonderful relationship and the two noteworthy Father's Day. Your kids will forever remember this, fondly, and that has got to be one of the greatest things you've given them.

RIP Checkers. (When we asked #1 what #2 - still in belly - should be called, he said without hesitation, Checkers!)

Aw...I'm so sorry for your loss. It's heartening to hear stories of "amicable" divorces though. Not that I'm planning one or anything - but it does give me faith in humanity in general that people can rise above their differences.

Such a poignant story...and coming full circle with your Ex being able to help when you need it most. I'm just so sorry it had to be under those circumstances....

I've often thought that I feel the same way about our "fractured" family....ex and I may not have been meant to be but somehow as a family? We still work.

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