Spin Cycle: Happiness

For this week's Spin Cycle Jen is assigning topics randomly or upon request. She's a little wild and crazy that way. When you're done here go see what she's thrown at other bloggers. She hit me with Happiness and for a couple of days I was truly stumped.

Happiness is such an arbitrary and often elusive concept. We're all so sure we'll finally be happy if we just reach some magic place in our lives: get married, have 2.3 babies, buy that house, get that promotion, lose 10 pounds.

And then, when it happens, we wonder why our life hasn't suddenly transformed into the last five minutes of a Disney movie.

It seems the older I get the happier I am. I've noticed it tends to be the little things that lead me there as I go about my life each day. Tiny moments of grace.

Right now, one of our five cats, Checkers, is very sick. I'm pretty sure he's not going to make it. 

We adopted Checkers, and his sister Lula Bell, 12 years ago this month. In large part they were a consolation prize for my kids, First-Born Son especially, having to give up a dog that, even after months and months, was truly not working out.

My marriage had just ended and my guilt was enormous. First their father, now the dog; what additional torture could I force my children to endure?

We already had two cats so we only wanted one kitten. But of course there were the two littermates, inseparable we were told. Irresistable. We took them both.

And they are inseparable. Checkers and Lulu can be found daily in a heart-shaped heap on my bed, meticulously grooming one another before drifting off together to sleep. I't hard to tell where one little body ends and the next begins.

The kids and I call Checkers "a tool." You can throw a towel over his head and he will  not move. Wrap him across your shoulders and wear him around the house. Yet the term is coined with great affection. He may be a tool, but he is our tool.

He's had a good life, Checkers has. Better than most people's. If this is his time to go, I tell my kids, then that's okay. Death is a part of life (cue violins). We've been lucky to have him. Blah, blah blah.

But I mean it. My cats are one of the things that bring me joy. Every day.

Maybe I'm getting simple-minded in my middle age. Maybe it's a pitiful shame that I'm so easily pleased. But I don't think so. Either way, I'll take it.

Tiny moments of grace. The key to happiness, mine, anyway. And whether Checkers makes it through this next week or not, I'll never be able to think of him without a smile on my face.

 

Thanks to a gentle nudge from Linda, I've recently updated my blog roll. I know, some bloggers could care less, while others are highly insulted if their name doesn't appear where they think it should. I couldn't believe how many wonderful bloggy buds I'd left off, and I'm afraid there may be more. So if you think you might be one of them, please let me know.

 

Comments

[Ocean Girl]

We reflect on happiness, don't think we realise it when we experience it.

[Sprite's Keeper]

Amazing Spin! I agree that the little things tend to bring us more happiness than the whole shebang. So sorry to hear about Checkers, but it is nice to know what a full and loved life he's led thus far. Our dog Blue is going to be 10, and beagles like her tend to live 12 or so years so Sprite will still be young if Blue follows tradition and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. You're linked!

[The gold digger]

Oh what cute kitties! I am so sorry about Checkers. I miss my cats when I go out of town for a weekend. I will be a wreck when they die.

[San Diego Momma]

I find myself experiencing more happiness as I get older too.

It IS the small things. And I wonder why it's taken me so long to figure that out.

Hope Checkers keeps making you smile.

[Heather]

Ohhh, this post reminds me of our beloved cat who passed two years ago. We had him for 16 yrs.

It is a fact of life, but it sure is painful to the ones left behind. Hopefully he will pass peacefully and not a long drawn out painful death.

So sorry my friend!

[TheKitchenWitch]

I am so in need of updating my own blogroll. Now I feel horribly guilty! Gee, thanks, Linda and Maureen! ;)

I got kind of sad reading about Checkers, and wondering how hard Lula is going to take his passing. I hope you can give her all of the extra love, and that the pain of his death passes quickly.

[Patty]

I love this post so much! I really needed to be reminded of how important the small moments of grace are. Really, they are key to being happy, I think. I know some people who are chronically unhappy and one thing they all have in common is they don't appreciate the little things.

Thanks for this great reminder! And I hope Checkers gets better! They are some adorable cats!

[Erin]

I was trying to explain this to a friend today - small moments of grace indeed.

I'm sorry about Checkers. That kitten photo is so sweet. I wish I could have a cat.

xo

[Dreamfarmgirl]

I recently heard a study has come out that found happiness increases with age. Go figure! But I think it does have to do with an appreciation for the lovely things that surround one's life. Your kitties are adorable. I had one for 15 years that resembled the one on the left.

[Corinne]

Oh yes... "Tiny moments of grace." That's it, completely :)

[Michele]

I so agree, it is the little things that make me the happiest.

[BumbleVee]

I'm glad to know that Checkers got to live at your house for all those years.... he probably loves you as much as you love him... and has enjoyed the little things too. LIke being worn as a muff around the house...we had one called Fluffy who did the same.... we had her and her Mom for 21 years... it was a sad day when they had to go....

Little things.... this is one of my absolute favourite thing to say.... how the little things amuse me or make me happy. I was just thinking last night as I dried my glass butter dish...how nice it looked sitting there... all sparkly, clean .... and then with fresh new butter in it... how it was such a great "little thing"...but, that it made me happy. See what I mean? I'm really cheap to keep and easy to please....

I happen to think those who are waiting for big things to happen to them.... or for things to change.. ... and/or ...and most especially.....to lose that 10 pounds.... or find the right man...etc.... they are the guys in for a huge surprise or a major let down..... when all of a sudden they realize they have been wasting years waiting or wishing or hoping.... and ignoring the little things..... sort of the parts of the sum instead of the sum of the parts ... or sumthing.... I guess....

[starrlife]

Oh, great cattitude! I am desperately attached to my cats. So sorry to hear about Checkers, may I ask what the problem is? I've had cats with Heart problems, kidney problems, cancer, embolism, thyroid.... It will be saddest for his sis I fear. I know what you mean by the little things, I see a bird on a branch and it can cause my heart to soar and aesthetics is important for the spirit. BTW- I haven't updated my roll for while but I'd be honored to be on yours, even tho a very new friend!

[Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)]

"Tiny moments of grace" - that's going to be my new mantra! :) I have wondered why when major moments happen life isn't transformed into the last 5 minutes of a Disney movie. I'm glad I'm not the only one. ;)

Sorry about Checkers - it's always hard when a beloved pet approaches their time to cross over. Sounds like he has had an awesome and well-loved life, the little tool! :) Norman, our Persian, is very tolerant of being a muff or having a tutu put on him by the Princess Nagger - he's 11, so he's in his twilight years, too. ((HUGZ!!))

[SuziCate]

Fabulous post. I think happiness coming easier now that we're older is because we've settled in, no longer chasing after it. We just enjoy life and let it find us. I'm sorry Checkers is sick. It's hard to lose a loved pet, amember of the household. The pictures of them as kittens is precious1

[Jan]

I'm so sorry about Checkers - I don't even like to think about the time Scooter will no longer be with us (and talk about a tool).

I find I'm happier as I get older, too. I think it has a lot to do with just not caring what the world thinks of me any more.

[TC]

I just read something about happiness, this is weird...can't find it now but basically it said you can be a millionaire and be unhappy and be a pauper and be happy, it's a choice....sometimes beans taste as delicious as steak....
I am so sorry about Checkers, he sounds like he's lived a long relaxed life...it's been almost a year since we lost Mugsey the golden Lab.

[BigLittleWolf]

I feel like Scrooge every time I read a "happiness" post. As though happiness is the latest Holy Grail we should all be chasing (obfuscating real problems in a troubled culture?) - BUT - the fact is that in the surprising moments when we connect to other people, to places, to memories, to nature, to our animals - we feel our humanity most. In ways that may ache and ways that feel good.

I don't need to label those times. My life has taught me to neither expect them nor ignore them, but to feel them - each of them - as I can.

Some of the warmest memories I have of my sons when they were little are associated with our family dog. She passed away last fall. I think of her often; this home is filled with images of her, for me. Knowing she was rescued and loved and shared our lives goes far. Those "happy" images are bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter.

[Twenty Four At Heart]

So sad about your kitty. : (
I love my animals so much. I will be heartbroken when they are no longer here with me.

I agree the little things are key. Simple pleasures are the best. I never really stop and think about whether I'm happy or not ...

[Heather]

I will be having something waiting for you on Monday's post. Come on by and get it.

[jessica]

that is how I feel about Teddy. He has done a world of good for both me and Phoebe and I thank God every day I took the plunge and rescued him b/c really, he has rescued both of us

[Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla]

Not only did I give a gentle nudge, I'm also a gentle noodge (as in the Yiddish, for "nag"), so thanks, Maureen! What can I say? I want your friends to be my friends.

The little kitties, oh my. What I love the most about this post is that as mothers we're always searching our minds and hearts for something to console our children, over an ended marriage, over a pet that didn't work out. The solutions, which come via some kind of crazy womb-intuition, work because we know our kids so well, or is it because we remember being kids so well?

[Michelle Murphy Zive]

Maureen, we must be on the same wavelength. I just wrote about the best dog in the world, Lupie, and how hard it was to let go of her. She made me so happy. By the way, Checkers and Lulu Bell are ADORABLE. I'm reading "The Happiness Project" to remind me to find the grace in the small moments. Thanks for the reminder, too.

[Erica@PinesLakeRedhead]

I hope Checkers comfortably finds his peace.

I also like all the Disney movies stacked up in the background of the photo. We used to have that many too!

[Stacia]

Animals make our lives rich in so many ways, and it's so easy to take them for granted, between the shedding and scratching and hairballs. But there's nothing like a kitty cat rubbing up against your foot and purring to put everything in perspective. Thinking of you, Lulu, and Checkers.

[kathryn]

That's what I love about you, sweetie. Even in the midst of such tender sadness and angst, you can still recognize and acknowledge the joy Checkers has brought to you and your children.

Metro's sick too. The vet found what he believes is a cancerous growth in his mouth. The surgery is tomorrow (6/22) and we're heartsick, dazed and holding out hope that it might be benign. And yet-I'd never wanted a dog...got him for the boys (I'm allergic to cats). I can't imagine life w/o him...and the last 10 have given us more joy than I could have possibly imagined.

Sorry so long....my thoughts & prayers are with you, Checkers...and all the little furry angels that hopefully realize just how much they're loved.

[Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings]

Cats become so much apart of our families. . . we have a 16 year old cat that could go any day now. She and our other cat (much younger) curl up together and I just don't know what the fat one would do without her buddy. I dread the day our black kitty passes away!

[Kate]

I think the part about what we think happiness is, is what life's all about. We all have a list of what will make us happy and then when we achieve those very things, we don't understand why we don't feel all the happiness. When we find a way to be happy with or despite what is around us is our true purpose of life!

[Kate]

Also, thanks for including me on your blog roll, I am honored!

[Kate@And Then I Was a Mom]

I'm so sorry about Checkers. I'll be thinking of you all. We know when we give a home to pets that they won't be with us forever, yet that notion is such an abstract for years and years. Makes it more difficult at the end, and so much easier at the beginning.

[Casey]

They were such adorable babies! I'm so sorry to hear about Checkers...

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~]

Great spin! Sorry I'm just getting over here. Life is just Ca-Razy here! We used to have a cat that would let you wear him as a fur muff too. Loved that! I'm sorry that your friend is sick. Best wishes!

[Krista]

*hugs for you and Checkers*

My pets bring me immense joy, so I can understand. I hope that Checkers is OK!!!!

[Super Bright Led Flashlight]

We know when we give a home to pets that they won't be with us forever, yet that notion is such an abstract for years and years. Makes it more difficult at the end, and so much easier at the beginning.